(no subject)

I just finished a mental debate with myself about whether to post or not.
I wanted to post about what that girl said, oh yeah and that other one, and Jack, and then that other point, and I should be honest about who I was hoping to see, and I should find a subtle way to talk about those two...
Why? Why talk about what they said at all? Who are you talking to? What possible good could come from sharing those things?
Who cares, there isn't a point - just making comments
Then think about what you're saying and why. Open your mouth and prove them right? You need attention - is that it? Think you'll get any productive attention from LJ? So 5 people out of 300 read this drivel...how does that help you?
How does it hurt?
By preventing you from getting hungry enough for interaction to get off your ass and make forays into real social situations - particularly novel social situations, since you seem to be STUCK IN A RUT. You also get this quick sugary fix from writing on there that may be preventing you from saving up your thoughts and producing something of substance.
Now you're being absurd - you're not a writer, you're not trained, and while you sometimes want to produce something you never have before and it's odd to imagine that you would suddenly change the world if only you didn't eljay. As for stuck in a rut, perhaps, but that's not going to change because you do or do not make LJ posts. How about this - you have a friend who has lost many of their memories who is currently going through their old notes and diaries to try and recreate their life...you know someday you may be old. You might want to have this to look back on. In fact, perhaps if you're stuck in a rut it will be easier to see if you write down your impressions now, and you can look at them later and be shocked if they show "you've been down this road before."
Either way, nothing really ventured, nothing really lost. Gotta do laundry anyway

( Now that I'm finished scolding myself, here is nothing interesting at all )

That...really wasn't worth writing at all. Damn.

(no subject)

A note to me - relax. It's ok.

I just got off the phone with someone to whom I was trying to explain how I had all these plans for today but I didn't feel like doing anything. In fact I was saying I had done nothing on this day off, and by nothing I meant laundry, paperwork, work-work that I didn't do yesterday when I did a long "lunch" in the gym, and a long murky reading stint. I started to mention all the things I "should" be doing that I planned to do, when I remembered this was the friend who I always used to tell she should sit the fuck down and relax when her chores didn't need doing and she didn't feel like doing them. Duh. I noted, she agreed.

Yesterday I cruised the potato mill for 2-3 hours and came home virtually empty-handed.

So I'm letting myself relax. I'm going to play LOTR and diablo. I'm going to put off going to microcenter and getting AoE3 and intuit even though they're both on sale. I'm going to put off hunting for memory chips for my computer. I'm going to put off clothes shopping at Filene's & Marshalls/TJ. I'm going to put off getting a new toaster and non-stick pans, possibly new knives. I'm not going to make sure I have a friend scheduled for every 4 hour block of time in the day I have free (my brain is hurting me less when I'm alone now). I'm going to leave these piles of paper on the floor, the bed in the corner, and the shelves unsorted. The clothes can stay unsorted as well, and I don't mind my laundry laying flat all around the apt. I will not feel guilt because I keep kicking off my flippy floppies, cocooning in a blankee, and laughing literally out loud while I watch mythbusters re-runs. Duh me - I've been working my ass off for what, 5 years now? I'm allowed to take a break. I said I would - now I am. It's not coming easy though...momentum is rough.

Geek question - when I right click on "my computer" it tells me I have 512 RAM, however when I use memory scanners to determine how I might improve speed by buying new memory chips - it only finds 256 mb RAM - as though one chip was missing. I've reseated the chips. Which should I believe, the right-clicker or the scanners? How would I know if RAM was bad (I ran a MS RAM scanner and it passed fine, but I couldn't tell if it "found" both RAM chips)?