(no subject)

I've been working on my listening skills, trying to make sure I understand what speakers are saying and trying to also communicate to them the fact that I'm listening. I knew this was a problem, and I was working on fixing it. However, I've identified a root cause of the problem I didn't know about. I just knew I was distractable and often faded in and out when people were speaking, but what I didn't know is why. Well now I know; you see, the real problem is that I don't care what people are saying to me. It's not about me, so I'm not interested. I love to communicate, but by that I mean talk, and by talk, I mean about me! I want to tell you about what is interesting to me, and that's...me. Maybe that's why I LJ so much - I get to yabber on about myself.

Yabber = yammer + jabber

More seriously, I was noticing I (see I'm talking about me again) don't have any interests. No hobbies. I like my friends, I want more friends, and I want to be able to spend more time with the friends I have - but doing what? It seems like every hangout involves food, drinking, clubs...but what is the commonality overall? I don't really have favorite authors, I'm not a renfest hobbyist, I don't follow local bands, I'm not into team sports, I don't watch a series tv show - I mean really, what do I do exactly? What is the thread that holds us together? I feel like I'm interested in the end product but am missing the pieces that show what that is the end product of. I want to be having fun with my friends at a party, sure, but why are they my friends, what did we do together, how did the party form, and what is being reflected in our words that isn't obvious to the outside eye? I don't know!

In completely different news, my father breathed for 30 minutes without the ventilator yesterday. He wasn't oxygen free, but they were able to have him breathe fully on his own with only a higher (40%) flow of oxygen fed to him when he did breathe. They did that as a test to see if he was a likely candidate to wean from the machine at the hospital, vs. months is a rehab facility specifically designed to wean folks off of respirators. He also is up to watching tv, answering questions, and has even started grabbing us for attention and indicating things that bother him. Anything could go wrong, but right now it looks like the fucker is going to live. A week ago...a week ago...I was sick and reporting to the hospital to find out if we should pull the plug.