(no subject)

I wish there were more people there that I knew. When I talked to a fairly sexy blonde stranger who was um...enthusiastic, I knew it was time to go. Chronos is much cooler when you stay past midnight. Thanx Tony for the cds.

It's weird...lots of normal peeps showed up and tried to dance or fit in. I was 100% fine with them...they didn't mock the weirdos, though they did self-mock. They danced. They were awkward, but tried to have fun. I don't give a damn about their lack of scene cred...the fact they tried to make the best of an awkward situation won my respect. Neato. It's a bad night when I'm making the best of it and trying to keep an open mind.

I'm sick of faces lit by cell-phone screens. IMing in a club is like admitting that you lost, only not everyone agrees with me.

I heard someone from...5 years ago...thinks I'm misogynistic! I mean a skank I can totally understand, a filthy diseased vermin sure...but misog? Wow...it's been a long time since a mischaracterization, IMO, really offended me. I'm honestly shocked. Or she's bonkers...

It's ... I want another drink for NO good reason. Took my dad and his wife to dinner again tonight. He's not all right. Neither am I. No relation, just as it is.

Wonder if my "public book" approach is another wuss-out. Am I stronger for putting myself out for criticism, or a pussy for failing to have confidence in who I am, what I think, and how I behave? Age, wisdom...it all seems to be accepting the ambiguity in answers to any questions, regardless of depth.

(no subject)

Hear that flushing sound? That's the stock market. I can't get over the fact I just cashed out a buttload of $ right before the crash to pay off my student loan and most of my 2nd mortgage. I never have good timing. I'm still watching my remaining pitiful stocks for a selling opportunity, but they only amount to 15-20% of my private holdings. Granted my retirement accounts are being slaughtered, ie the TSP, but I don't have any reason to touch those funds for the next 20 years give or take. If I had money or knowledge to buy, now would be the time. I might make one purchase in my private retirement account - I sold psb right before it dove, and took a tender offer on topp, so I'm scanning a bit. I might put money in porn. I want to buy stock in Bacardi but those bastards are still private. I thought why not try Grey Goose? Turns out it is also made by Bacardi...amazing how much they do. Chocolate, booze, and porn - that's my retirement and investment advice.

God, I'm listening to http://www.netmusique.com/ (eletrique station) and it sounds so good for some reason. These Klipsch speakers and subwoofer just amaze me with the thumpy quality. Dunno if it's good, but I like it.

So I visited my dad yesterday. He looks more normal now, but was tired. He's seeing the doctor today so hopefully this new wave of exhaustion is either normal or can be remedied. He's walking slower, and really has to concentrate to avoid hitting his head on things. I swear he seemed better when he had the staples in his skull (looked more industrial too, hard core)! He talks ok, though he's mostly talking about his medical stuff (I can understand why of course). I'm confused about what it means to take a lemon-sized tumor out of your head. Did it eat that much of his brain, or is it more that when it grew it squeezed brain out of the way so now the brain just has to expand back to where it was? I think his issues now are finding out just where he is health-wise (ambiguous answers suck but are all you et sometimes), and being stir-crazy.

Last night the djs were pretty good - granted I hate synth, but the crowd reacted to it. I got to dance to Faith No More "We care a lot" which was funny to me, as I miss that song and constantly hear the sample of it on Dirty Jobs. 400 channels of cable and I keep watching mythbusters and dirty jobs. Oh, and voyager. My brain go bye bye too.