(no subject)

So I'm failing at resisting running on about my impressions of my exam last night and my sickness today. Nobody cares, or should. I guess when I write to LJ I feel as if someone is, or might be, listening. I've been surprised by when people listened and cared - so the variable ratio schedule of reinforcement is successful at encouraging my behavior even without recent reinforcement.

I think I'm a little more sympathetic to the meth issue today. I haven't slept worth a damn, though my nose is mostly clear. I would rather sleep, but these drugs won't let me do it. I don't feel 100%, and I have an exam in a few hours. My last in law school.

I feel ok about the exam last night. I have no idea how I did, and won't for 4-6 weeks. I know I couldn't possibly get every issue developed in the time allotted, and I know I spent too much time developing the prime issues rather than just trying to scatter shot and score 'spotted an issue' points. I know that how I feel about an exam, good or bad, doesn't equate to a grade much. I also know that the entire class that chose to verbalize before and after the exam voiced fear and confusion, where I felt I knew what was going on and had confidence in my answers. I'm happy with my unmeasured-as-of-yet performance.

But who cares. I sound like a broken record, school, worry, sick, worry, reporting on what I dun done. Is this boring? Unproductive?

Eh fuck it. I have every damn right to whine, listen if you want and go if you don't. Wow, I'm testy. Must be the meth.

(no subject)

So with that, I am most likely a law school graduate. I overprepared for the exam, and feel like I over-answered the questions. I feel like I got the plus on my A, but as always my feelings do not correlate well with my grades - so I'll have to wait and see. Still, I did it. I have a huge mountain of bar prep & exam ahead of me, but I have 4 years of working full time while going to school nearly full time behind me. Plus, my only goal in the bar is to pass.

I had a conversation that made me feel good right before the exam. This cute girl sat behind me and started a conversation about the exam. I have noticed her before - she's tiny, kinda cute, but I really noticed her when someone pointed out in class a brief she did won some national competition. She dresses really casual, is one of those tan kids I'm jealous of, and has a very lazy hairstyle (shag?). So I've been feeling like an alien loser at school, so having a smart cute girl talk to me was nice. She, like many others, was worried about the exam we just took and the one from last night. She also, surprisingly, was not a top-of-the-class girl, but was just a nudge above me in the race for "with honors." We laughed about that.

So I felt a tad less geeky, if only for a minute. Amazing the difference between feeling like an outsider and well...having a conversation.

Odd thing was, and be warned - I am a freak, while she was cute and all...I had never seen her toes. She was wearing sandals, and her toes were...not pretty. They weren't ugly, but they were long like fingers and the ends were round - like a salamander! Call me a freak, call me finicky if you must, but not-pretty feet can kinda turn your head. That, and I just wanted to write about that to sound weird. I need some more freak cred/points, and talking about a smart cute girl having funny looking feet seems the best way.

Oh, and I've gradumacated myself from the laws school. Now to play Diablo and hope I can sleep when and if the medicine wears off.