Off is not a speed

Welcome to the worst of LJ - the self-indulgent introspection that produces nothing. Seriously, an occasional insight about yourself can be interesting, but only as much as it relates to others or helps them discover something about themselves. No, this is eljay and this is whining. I'm not complaining, but I'm speaking, about myself, with no likely outcome, conclusion, or course of action spawned from this discourse.

That said - I'm afraid I've changed, or recognized that I'm not the slacker I thought I was. I'm wrapping up my vacation, and I'm bored. I don't necessarily want to do all the tasks I could do with this newfound time, but I'm feeling a bit out of sorts as my time is not booked into ultra-important and inflexible parameters.

I started school with the intent of a) quitting if it was hard, and b) creating a niche where I could work less and be paid more or the same. Instead, I've become even harder working than ever. I like to work. How did that happen? Even in my spare time I fill my hours with activities. Last night my usual boxing partner noticed I made it through abs blasters faster than a couple weeks ago - I casually mentioned that I was in winter break so I was catching up. I was shocked when the impact of my words hit my ears - with my spare time I was doing other work. Working out is fun, but it is work. My job is fun, but it is work...my god, I enjoy my job. Law school is...fun. I learn every day, every class, I learn something interesting. I dread the hours of time devoted to briefing cases, but ultimately I think one of the reasons I stuck with it all this time is it doesn't suck all that much for me...no, I like it. I don't like all of it, but I seem to like more of it than I dislike.

I've lied to myself - I like working.