(no subject)

Wikipedia, Snopes.com, and mythbusters should be tax-exempt and referenced as valid scientific sources. People continuing to pass on myths as facts in violation of the information available on the aforementioned organizations will be seen as idiots. You should have to pass a snopes and mythbusters certification exam before being licensed to send emails to more than 5 people at a time. Another possible candidate for academic recognition is the dirty jobs guy...

You people just don't get it. When I post about measurable weaknesses, I'm not looking for hugz. Advice is appreciated, anything from I'm not being realistic with my comparisons, who cares, or learn to live with it all are fine. I don't know why anyone argues with the main points though. I am studying more for less results - plain, simple, and true. It's a measured and recorded fact. FACT. I lift less than other people, FACT. That one's easy - I'm trying to get to a single rep at 225 on the free weight bar. I work out next to many men who do reps with that weight. I am measurably weaker than them.

That said, this semester is different - I reached some conclusions to the observations of my weakness: If I weren't weak, I wouldn't work as hard as I do.

Unlike my superiors, I work hard. I used to be above average too, and I didn't work. I was lazy, and had one of the attitudes I loathe to this day - an air of entitlement. I would always consciously say I supported a level playing field, but without thinking about it I was used to succeeding without really trying. I was smart. I've noticed lately how many not-so-smart people make it to and through law school, and how many smart people fail to excel academically or financially. Why? I have three lines of thought: 1) no one wants to be happy if it means being a retard, 2) brilliance = misery, 3) smart people usually fail at some "critical period."

Anecdotal examples gone wild below - no valid research here
1. People choose knowledge and ability over happiness. I'm not sure where to go with this line of thought, but when faced with hypotheticals people I speak with choose to be as smart or smarter than they are, even when faced with idea that retards are happy. Even the hypo has people turning away from being dumber, despite the "fact" that sadness comes with ability. Brilliant people seem to be drunks, druggies, and miserable. Retards constantly smile. Want to be happy? Try several sharp blows to the cranium. People always wish they were smarter, but don't seem to realize the baggage that comes with it. Smart hurts, but people seem to prefer the pain of smart over the joy of being dumb.

2. Depression from isolation due to superior ability (how much gradient). By genetic code, we are social animals who need companionship. By definition, being significantly smarter than your peers isolates you. Sure you can act dumb for hours, even days, but eventually you can't help but process faster than your friends, and slip up and show unusual thought patterns or abilities. If you're comfortable with better abilities, your friends will likely have discomfort and envy. Your friends turn away from these flashes of insight, or notice you are a bit different. These differences add up over time, and leave the person to a feeling of isolation. Seeing the failings of society also tends to make people depressed. I'm speaking in anecdotes here, but I suspect there is data linking depression to intelligence. Brains may be a curse (but a curse most people choose, see #1). It's hard to write a dissertation when you're crying to sleep every night. This curse, these pains, may lead smart people to fail despite their ability.

3. Critical period: most smart people fail because as children they get used to achieving without trying, and when challenged, attribute failure to an outside source. I've both experienced this and seen it happen to many of my smarter peers. Smart kids are so used to being right with no effort that when effort was required they failed to perform, thinking since they didn't do well without effort that they blamed their teacher. Personally, the result of my superior ability was to give me esteem and feeling of entitlement. I thought it was wrong that some kids were rich while we were poor, but I was always comfortable with my easy As while other kids struggled. Many kids stop there, and blame the "system" for their failure. If they don't get beat down by teachers, then when the finally rise up high enough in the funnel and find their peers are now as smart as they are, they give up thinking something is wrong. The smart kid often fails when effort is required, after decades of excellence without effort. Whether they blame themselves or the world around them isn't so important as this critical period. I suspect many if not most smart kids fail this critical period, that rather than learning to apply themselves, they blame others or even themselves for their personal failure. Having successfully shifted the blame for their performance, they continue to fail to perform.

My inability has led me to lose the entitlement perspective and understand the value of earning, and taught me discipline - working hard to earn what does not come naturally. The funny part is I've been working hard to return to that happy world - the one where I don't work hard, but excel. I'm just working hard to get there again. Little by little I've stopped looking for excuses, and learned how to work and persevere. I'm small, but I train my body. I'm not brilliant, but I study and work hard. I persevere, used to the pain of physical and mental challenges over extended periods of time. It was hell to get here, but I'm better for it.

If I were much smarter than I am, or if physical ability came easier, I might not be as successful as I am. I might blame society for being stupid, as if that justified my measurable failure in it. I might settle for being strong "for my size," rather than setting the bar higher when I reach goals. I would coast, getting fat and staying poor. No, I'm lucky. It was a hard lesson to learn, and I would have chosen most any other path to avoid the trials I've faced. I'm lucky to be so small and dumb that I learned to work hard.

(no subject)

Uh...so that was my bus assoc exam. It was something like trivial pursuit meets BA. I could see concepts we covered in class, sure, but they were really masked in odd terminology. I suppose he'll get his class stratification for the curve, but I'm not convinced that will represent the level of substantive knowledge gained per student. I'm nuetral on the whole thing - I heard everyone voicing similar opinions on the exam. I might have gotten an A, maybe a C...I haven't a clue. I'm not worried. Ok, now to work, then 2 more marathons and subsequent exams. Then just full time work. Huzzah. Oh, but for now...a drinkie with my yum yum pop.