(no subject)

Why does it suck so bad?
1. I've applied for many jobs, and this is the only one that has responded in any way. My education and experience do not seem to open doors (most jobs are preselected).
2. This job was posted once before and my friend asked me to apply. I didn't because I liked my current job too much, before this ghetto-bitch became my boss. If I had applied then, I would have had it.
3. I return to my job underneath the insecure abusive cursing yelling and on a good day degrading bitch on Monday.
4. I blew 5 hours leave on this, plus many more hours studying the NLRB and preparing materials. It might not sound like much, but I hoarde my leave like nothing else. I have over 500 hours sick leave stashed away, and have only taken leave for the past couple of years for exams, writing papers, and one vacation trip. For over 2 years my life has been work and spotty recreation tucked into an hour here and a 1/2 day trip there. No vacation, no rest, no recovery.
5. I altered my schedule in law school for this job. I hate and don't give a rat's ass about labor law, but took labor law instead of either employment law or discrimination law based on the prospect of getting this job.
6. The girl that got the job is in my labor law class, and sits next to me. She doesn't need a job, she loved the job she had at homeland security - but wanted to strive for even more. She is quite comfortable with the competition. I need to escape a bad situation, she's just trying to improve a good one. Every monday and wednesday night I will have a reminder.
7. All that anger goes nowhere - outside of lacing my speech with a few profanities I was polite to this steaming cunt in class. I want to stab her in the face with a fork (for reference see The cook, the thief, his wife, and her lover) but logically I can't really be mad. I'd do the same thing she did were I in her place, only I'd be a bit more apologetic about it. All that anger is just whiny angst - it doesn't create action...which keeps me out of jail I suppose, but damn it would cast an impression, wouldn't it?
8. This was a rare chance to break into a very secure career track - HR Director. The only other way to hit it is to step sideways and spend even more years as a 13, only working in HR to build some experience. If I want a 14, it would have to be more pigeonholed in ER or in this correspondence unit.

I still can't make up my mind about what to do with my current detail job. I think I want to grab a 13 with the correspondence group and just coast, but I really should grab a 14. The 14 will be so much more work though. Then again, I don't know if the job will remain so easy at the 13 level once I settle in. I really have to make my mind up this morning.

There is another problem - some part of me is realizing that I really should be unhappy that I judge my workplace by how much I can escape it. The less work, the better the job. That's efficient, but not a healthy attitude. Do I find a way to adjust my attitude, or do I need to find another direction?

I'm really tempted to return to my old job which I enjoyed. Despite the triffling bitch. Or seek the same work somewhere else. It had a good combination of down time and work that I genuinely enjoyed doing. I mean look at how much time I spend on the internet - and some idiot wants to pay me to make fun of and discipline people through writing? One day I'm going to try and get a decision letter issued with the term STFU N00B!

(no subject)

I think I'm not going to pursue the job with the correspondence group.

Good:
-It's with a guy I both like and respect, from whom I've learned a lot in the past.
-It's a 14, which nets me like a whopping 300 a month after taxes over my current $.
-It has exposure to high-level people so if I do well I could move up quickly.

Bad:
-I don't spend the money I make now! Money is not my driving force, nor should it be. When did I get the bug to go from a 13 to a 14? If I really cared I should kiss ass and wear a tie. I'm quite comfortable on this salary and level of responsibility.
-The work is annoying and dull. Varied though the subject matter is, I could really not give a shit less about the safety of meat and poultry product. I don't want to keep defending the agency against people whining about it, and being nice to them. I might go back to being a vegetarian at some point anyway.
-The work is demanding on occasion, for instance they will stay late nights when PETA runs a misleading ad or BSE is found somewhere. My current work is very easily controlled, self-paced.
-I would have to go through the transition of learning a new line of work (this is a minimal factor, it looks like the transition is slight).

The crazy thing is that I want to return to my old work. I want to laugh at those employees, I want to criticize them in writing, I want to punish them, and shoot down their arguments. I like the work, I'm left alone generally, the pay is good, and I can self-pace a bit. The only problem is that boss.

I could also step sideways into HR. They already know me and like me, respect my work. I just quizzed a bud in the hall about it, someone I know they are not happy with due to speed and quality of work and the fact he skips out from the office for hours at a time. From what I gather from him, it's a decent place to work - flexiplace, flexitime, a reasonable pace. If he can do it I'm confident I can (only ensuring that my work product is plentiful and tight so no one gets annoyed). The only problem is that I'd still be under this bastard who runs the dept. He's the core reason there are so many problems here - his abrasive style and inappropriate personnel selections are the foundation of much of what I don't like here.

This means I get to give the training in December though. CRAP but it's during an exam.

This means I'm going to be returning to my ER job and just pursuing other work while there.

I'm posting a lot, but I need to process all this crap and writng/talking helps me do that. It's incredibly boring for that large group of people known as "not me," but you can just skim over this shit the way I blow past your bowel movement descriptions and quizzes.