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Sep. 23rd, 2005 07:40 amLast night was intense mood night. I bolted from class to meet up with the happy hour, a reunion of the people I started working for the government with in 1995. I was amazed:
1) everyone freaked out about how "muscular" I was. I guess I really have changed, but seeing me day-to-day I just don't see it. I mean I was just wearing a t-shirt and I didn't say a thing - it was like "Wow check out the muscle-man" as I approached the table. Huh.
Ok ok, I have muscles. Now what? I don't, and no-one else seems to, care. Answer - looks don't make up for a mouth.
2) Everyone looks the same. Dunno what was in the water, but it looks as though the last 10 years didn't happen. One guy had a touch of gray in his beard, and one girl put on a bit of weight, but other than that everyone seemed ageless.
3) Everyone had more issues and regrets than I realized. Taking a recent lesson to heart, I drank and spoke little, focusing on listening, asking questions to any story told. I whine about my regrets, but listening to everyone talk I quickly realized everyone had something that was just as huge in their head as my laments, but that no one else in the group cared or felt bad about the incidents/behaviors.
4) SHE reminded me that she warned me away from law school early on. I pretended she had done so for anything but her own reasons. She also told me that the jump to a six-figure salary in the private sector wasn't her favorite move at all, hinting about a possible return to government.
5) I don't miss that crush at all, but I have picked out a facial feature in many crushes - a strong chin. It seems girls with strong chins = hawt. Huh. Why am I observing myself in the 3rd person like a dream, powerless to control what I think, do, and want?
Left there and went to Nation, yawn. I love Stillborn Puppies, but not so much that I want to hang out in a club environment watching their video. Non-stop synthpop on the other side annoyed me so much that by the time good music started I was out of the club mood, watching the horror that was the big dance floor...egads. The oral-sex with a lightstick couple really was gross. Multiple inappropriately shirtless guys. Arrived home 12 to 12:30. I whined too much, too much even for nation. This experimenting with sobriety or drinking less will have to be mixed with less vocalization. Drinking makes the time go by and the annoying people / music annoy less. If I "need" to drink to "enjoy" the environment, perhaps I should be doing something else entirely.
I have 2 more months of school, plus exams. Oh, then another 1.5 years. Then the bar.
At the cinema and draft house, they are doing a midnightish show of "Office Space."
1) everyone freaked out about how "muscular" I was. I guess I really have changed, but seeing me day-to-day I just don't see it. I mean I was just wearing a t-shirt and I didn't say a thing - it was like "Wow check out the muscle-man" as I approached the table. Huh.
Ok ok, I have muscles. Now what? I don't, and no-one else seems to, care. Answer - looks don't make up for a mouth.
2) Everyone looks the same. Dunno what was in the water, but it looks as though the last 10 years didn't happen. One guy had a touch of gray in his beard, and one girl put on a bit of weight, but other than that everyone seemed ageless.
3) Everyone had more issues and regrets than I realized. Taking a recent lesson to heart, I drank and spoke little, focusing on listening, asking questions to any story told. I whine about my regrets, but listening to everyone talk I quickly realized everyone had something that was just as huge in their head as my laments, but that no one else in the group cared or felt bad about the incidents/behaviors.
4) SHE reminded me that she warned me away from law school early on. I pretended she had done so for anything but her own reasons. She also told me that the jump to a six-figure salary in the private sector wasn't her favorite move at all, hinting about a possible return to government.
5) I don't miss that crush at all, but I have picked out a facial feature in many crushes - a strong chin. It seems girls with strong chins = hawt. Huh. Why am I observing myself in the 3rd person like a dream, powerless to control what I think, do, and want?
Left there and went to Nation, yawn. I love Stillborn Puppies, but not so much that I want to hang out in a club environment watching their video. Non-stop synthpop on the other side annoyed me so much that by the time good music started I was out of the club mood, watching the horror that was the big dance floor...egads. The oral-sex with a lightstick couple really was gross. Multiple inappropriately shirtless guys. Arrived home 12 to 12:30. I whined too much, too much even for nation. This experimenting with sobriety or drinking less will have to be mixed with less vocalization. Drinking makes the time go by and the annoying people / music annoy less. If I "need" to drink to "enjoy" the environment, perhaps I should be doing something else entirely.
I have 2 more months of school, plus exams. Oh, then another 1.5 years. Then the bar.
At the cinema and draft house, they are doing a midnightish show of "Office Space."
