I don't really have time for this due to a long lunch, but I have to share an observation from that lunch: negativity is a major turn-off. I think I just relearned a lesson about myself.
I sat at lunch and listened to this attractive, intelligent, and interesting woman annoy and bore me to tears. All she did was complain about her situation. She only blamed her surroundings. She blamed the boss, the culture, the organization, the rules, the politics...and you know what? She wasn't wrong. The rules were broken, the people are losers, and the situation is bad. But my god that's all she had. All she did was run on about how it all sucked - she didn't have one word about what she was doing to fix the situation. She wasn't moving anywhere. She wasn't doing anything - just complaining. I was happy to offer her catharisis, but at the same time I listened and grew suspicious about how bad it was based on her constant stream of discontent. Rarely is everyone wrong.
I hope I don't sound like that. I actually like being exposed to negative people. One of the more important series of events in my life was hanging out with a sad old queen "Frank." He was like a bitter-er version of me ffwd about 20 years. I heard some of me in his voice, and seeing where that constant misery and complaining ended up sent me scrambling any other direction but that particular road down.
It's hard to practice the lessons you teach others, but this one I need to remember. It's easier to teach the right thing than to do it, but you must do it. Somehow you must do it.
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