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Hoser - now there's a nickname I hadn't heard in ages. Jen's daughter is a 14 year old neogoth girl. Jen remembers well the stoner years, but she just doesn't understand her kid at all. I've offerred to help, that ought to be a hoot. Trying to find commonality between my old-school goth and stoner roots to a slipknot fan. Huh. It shouldn't be that different than kids I talk to today, but who knows - I could just be some out of touch old guy.

The color of law

I just returned from "The color of law." This was a program where HS students were identified and taken on Sat morning to hear from judges, lawyers, and law school students - trying to inspire them to follow in their footsteps. It's a great idea - show minority kids minorities and women in positions of power, show then it can be done, and explain what it takes to get there.

It was grueling.

I'm OLD. I mean like really old. I work out, I have a job, I go to school...I have some serious stamina for shit that real people find boring. Still, I could hardly stand the program. We sat on this uncomfortable wooden benches for like 2 hours listening to these judges give speeches...dood, what the hell are you jackasses doing? If I, an old man who is used to a government job and law school is bored and uncomfortable after 2 hours, can you even fathom what this does to a HS kid!? You idiots...why would these people not give an ounce of thought to how they were presenting the information to their audience? More than half of preparing any presentation is targeting the audience, ensuring your message is going to be received!

Most of the people there did not seem to be there to help the kids - they were using the event as an opportunity to network with judges. Let me tell you this, lawyers don't just kiss ass - they're adept with the forked tongue.

After the judges-deathmarch, we sat in breakout groups, where us law school students thought we would be heard by these kids, but NO - they included judges in these sessions too! If you don't know anything about judges, I'll just tell you this: 1) they are used to being in control, 2) they are used to everyone kissing their ass with both tongue and permission, 3) they think their knowledge is of utmost value to everyone. Well let me fucking tell you, those judges might have some great knowledge to pass on - but they sure as hell don't know how to do it. They must never have looked at the kids, for everything they said was making them sound more and more alien to the group. I looked at the kids, the one asleep in his hand, the one with his nose almost in his own navel... The judgie advice included: always read, take extra classes, visit campuses, never get a credit card, work hard and ignore all other activity, give up friends/family, and my personal favorite "Oh I don't even go to the mall, so I won't even know what is in style! Even my car has 93,000 miles on it..." Hey judgie...are you completely ignorant to what group you're talking to? Why don't you tell them how great it is to eat lima beans while you're at it?

Lucky for me, I'm an obnoxious dick - so I butted into the conversation more than once to try and get the kids some practical advice. Once I was such an ass I interrupted the rambling judges "I was 9 months pregnant and late but still going to class..." to point out that the prez of the black law student thingy was there, sick as a dog, and hadn't gotten a single word in. I insisted that she share something right then and there since she had yet to say something. It sounds horrible, but she thanked me afterwards. You see I have an advantage not really having my sights set on being a lawyer per se. Gee, I talked over a fairfax county judge - darn there goes my career. Right!?

When it was over, it turned out all of the law students were complaining that it was a waste of time to show up and be pre-empted from doing exactly what we were there to do - give real and practical advice from current law students to people a couple years behind us. The Dean was sympathetic - he said he warned them that the judges would rule everything, and so they did. It seems judges are famous for this - like bosses, they all act like the landlord in les miserables - thinking everything they say is golden and that it is received warmly by all, when in fact they're so out of touch only an aluminum bat could knock sense into them. That is why they have metal detectors in the courthouse!

Judges should be forced to take a class or two in communication as refreshers, and only passing the course if their message is received.

I have a newfound respect for "Judge Mathis." While he is goofing off on a trashy tv show, he is speaking in a manner that the common person understands and is generally spouting accurate law. It's not just knowing your stuff, it's being able to communicate it.

On another note:
So I drove this HAWT Cuban girl to the thing and back. She's the one I pissed off earlier by calling her Puerto-Rican! We laughed most of the way back, complaining about the crazy program - until I finally got to drop her off. I mean she's not romantic material for me, but she is hawt. Why does this matter? Why do I say I dropped her off finally? You see I had been in courtrooms surrounded by judges, students, professors, and peers for hours. We had soda, crappy pizza, and cookies. I dropped the girl off, and I swear I think I must have farted for 30 seconds straight...