Alchemy yawn

I keep editing this entry...

Do I drink less,
are 20 year olds all fat,
doesn't anyone look in the mirror
when they get dressed,
or does this crowd look much worse
than the old Tracks circuit?

I'm dancing to a really pretty song with lots of whispered lyrics, when I actually listen and hear what they're saying:
"They only want you when you're 17, when you're 21, you're no fun." I think it's kinda cute, but I'm 34.

I've now found out this is by Ladytron
"They only want you when you're 17/ when you're 21, you're no fun/They take a Polaroid and let you go/say they'll let you know, so come on"
It's perfect, a couple cute lyrics but not much to think about. Me, I fuck a 21 year old, as long as she brings a 17 year old friend along for the ride. What!? < /MalePrickSpeak >

I know why last night sucked for me:
1) I didn't feel like going out - I felt like playing video games all night. I've been a total recluse lately, and thought OUT would be good for me.
2) I expected it to be old-school night. I wanted to see old punks, people with jobs, people that usually can't afford to feel like shit in the office on Friday. Instead the place was like a twisted romper room, with morons vying for attention and mistaking sexual suggestion for power.

I use the draw of promising sex, using that naked or slutty appearance to hold your attention, big time, but I don't think for second that it means a thing. Maybe they feel the same way, but when you take the time to talk to one of these double-digit iqs you quickly realize that the guests on Springer are real...

I like a lot of the synth pop songs I heard last night, and really want to dance to that 17 song a lot more, but it's all they played. The music was so fucking bad that the hard music was on the electro side. I don't want to hear the same type of music all night long, not goth, not rivet, not ska, and sure as hell not synth.

God damnit stimulate me!

They only want you when you're 17/ when you're 21, you're no fun/They take a Polaroid and let you go/say they'll let you know, so come on

For all my bitching I do listen to a lot of repetitive spiraly music, rifts more than songs.

I'm bored, stimulate me. Entertain me, I'm as blank as can be, and I've seen it before, and I've done it before...thank you Marc Almond. I've had 3/4 lb of Godiva chocolate and a huge bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper. I'm being so American it's just gross. The thought of a luxury SUV gives me an erection. I can't wait for tonight's episode of [sit-com] and hope the stripper gives me a lil extra in my lap dance. I hope the guy in the park is a hottie. I hope I beat my friends at the popularity contest. They have to like me, but envy me too. Have you seen the size of the fucking rock on my hand? I mean, I walk into a room and it's like BAM - everyone sees it and goes DAMN. We're spending hella cash, I'm buying names you can't even pronounce.

Sugar caffeine and a bit of non-specific anger. I made it out last night without hitting anyone, but I really want to have an excuse. I was part skinhead for a night. There was a geek with a cane who spun it briefly...I really wanted to spin it too. I wanted to spin it because I really like to spin things, hard and fast, but I also wanted to club him with it for being such a dork. Him and the guy with the sweats and the sunglasses leaning on the support column for effect.

I'm not sure I can get away with dresses anymore. I wish I could - maybe I'll bug Wendy to rate me. Ugh, I saw Voron last night, who was hitting on some girl and using me to do it. He commented like 3 times how he'd favor me with kisses, and how I'd wanted him for years. I did think he was cute once, but I've heard what comes out of his mouth since I first saw him. Done!? I also made the mistake of putting my hand on his side and quickly realized that the years have not been so fairly kind to his figure. So he was bragging at my 'expense' but he was so far off I didn't even feel the urge to correct him.

You should go to the gym. When you get frustrated with people it's a special little zing you get from knowing you can overpower them physically and break them into little pieces. Do you have any fucking idea what a charge you get out of feeling the bones snap beneath someone's skin!? Fitness is great, but revenge is fucking glorious. What? Why are you looking at me like that? Where are you going?

I could kill you with a thought but you wouldn't understand. So, I suppose fists will have to do.

NYE

Would everyone please just consolidate their fucking parties so I'd know where to go on NYE, or at least where not to go? I have the feeling, this year, I'll be going to the quietest party where I'm sure I will know virtually everyone...the Cheers of NYE parties.

I should stay home though, but I'd be embarrassed.