vicarz | If you're going to get fired

Here's a doozy:
1) be suspected of stealing prescription drugs from co-workers and private employees
2) have someone give an affadavit that you asked them to bring extra prescription medicine for you
3) get caught having sex with the minor child of a private employee you work with
4) offer the parent $5,000 to not press charges
5) be unaware that that parent contacted the IG who provided a tape recorder, and then make the offer again on tape. Be sure to also offer them the 'pink slip' to your truck as collateral
6) Speak with the IG about the allegations and give a sworn statement with attorney present, still unaware that they have the tape
7) have a bunch of people point out that the mysterious prescription drug disappearances all occurred when you were in the locker room alone

C-ya! Enjoy your appeal proceedings!