(no subject)
Dec. 25th, 2003 01:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
How to tell if someone is lying to you:
1. Their lips are moving, or they are typing. Most people lie, and frequently at that.
2. Wait. Liars often lie, and lies are more likely to contradict one another than the truth. Most liars aren't good at keeping track of their lies, and often the lies are about people. Interactions with those other people, or how the story is told in front of them by the liar, will often give away the lie without you having to do anything but observe. If the story makes no sense, just sounds weird, wait and see how weird it gets. To do this,
3. Agree. Don't say yes, or that you'll do something - but when in doubt encourage the speaker to continue. Liars will tailor their lie to you, and if you look suspicious they will conserve their misrepresentation. If you act like you believe the lie, they will take it further and its fallacy will become more apparent. Let the liar weave enough yarn to hang themselves.
4. Don't expose the lie or the liar. Continue to rely on them to not tell you the truth without revealing that you have no trust in their reporting. You can learn the truth from someone who lies if you know they lie, why, and how.
5. Someone tells you someone else is lying. People who lie often overestimate how many people lie and how often. They may feel their lies pale in comparison to some imaginary average.
6. They are making an emotional appeal and are irresponsive to other possibilities. They may believe their 'cause' is so important that the lie is justified by the ends to which it serves.
7. They watch your reaction to each portion of the story. Someone who tells the truth has little concern for your reaction - they simply expect you to believe them since they know they are speaking the truth. Someone telling a lie is more likely to watch you, gauging your reaction, and trying to tell you what you want to hear or what they want to convey in such a way that you will be convinced. If you are not suspicious by nature, you are more likely to believe someone telling a lie than someone telling the truth.
8. Money is involved or they haven't come yet.
9. They react strongly to any questions about any portion of the story, showing lots of emotion. Someone telling the truth already knows whether the story seems bizarre or not, and doesn't mind that you question it as any rational person would. A liar uses your fear of offending people against you to avoid addressing unliklihoods and inconsistencies.