vicarz | (no subject)

Like biting water
No! I'm just started...I can almost feel it
You can feel it now - it's just a question of degree
Oh stop it, you know what I mean!? It's so close, and
yes I know
but how can you!? If you did
but I do, you must know how much
I'm sick of control, you
reach back
before I even begin
you did begin, I felt it
but I can feel her s-
You? Feelings? Which ones, how many, for how long? You are
I felt his sweat
and I saw her move. I know both tastes
how can you
So does she, don't you think I know it?
and he
yes I know
how can you
I can and I do. I felt that, that was me that tasted it
and she
yes I was watching. I watched for some time, you recall
you made it no fun, I was there the whole time and you held me back
you know the consequences
but I
and I want to let you go but it's just too long, you don't remember
isn't it worth it
no
but I feel so
I feel it too, only I remember
but
and I remember her too, you know her
it wasn't
but it was
and he
and he was too, and I remember
but they were all so
and I was there, and I recall, and I know that taste and that feel as you do
then how can you
how can I not? I remember the beginning and the end, even that middle you obscure
you're not being accurate, it was different,
'and this one is special, it's so new'
no it is, I swear I know this one it is so
it can't be, it must be, and I was
you're not right
That was their time, isn't it their time now?
but I want
and I remember
but
That is their time. We had our time
I don't remember
Can't you count?
it doesn't count
I don't care and I know you don't
I do
but I do, and I know you remember
it hurts
I know, and you still slip out
and you control
and no matter how many, and now matter how long, and no matter how, and no matter...it's like biting water, feeling it, knowing better, sinking your teeth into nothing, feeling substance where there is only motion, the movement is all the substance there is and when you grasp that which is not there you feel more empty than when you just feel the pressure from a distance letting it in all of nothing when you fail and give in and try you hurt more as they escape your grasp and your teeth meet they run out between. I remember, so while I would let you I still remember and I still know better. If even the illusion was there I'd give in, but for all your feeling and all your want I know what isn't, and so do you.
I'd like to forget
so would I. I hate and love you, but I hold you in. You don't and can't let me, and I don't and can't let you. Sometimes we like the dance, but tonight it hurts.
When fucking me became a habit, and you...