Things you might not want to know

[vicarz]

The phrase "Your pain gives me an erection," is not considered appropriate in some office environments.

The phrase "Start with my ass and work your way sideways," is often found to be a confusing statement, more so on a first date.

Bon-bons, chocolate truffles, and ben-wa balls are not interchangeable. Addendum - although romantic, chocolate turns out not to be a 'sex food' at all.

Comments

oh, absolutely

[loachie.livejournal.com]

any chocolate + sex experimentation I've tried has only ended up in mess and frustration. Chocolate and sex = very very good individually. Devastating combined.

Re: oh, absolutely

[tony-laetrile.livejournal.com]

I have a theory addressing this matter.

There are four fundamental human biological drives:

eat (includes drinking)
sleep
shit (includes urination and other forms of excreta)
fuck

Each of these drives contains their own unique blend of pleasures and reliefs. But you must NEVER COMBINE THEM.

For example.

eat + sleep - You can't eat and sleep at the same time, and if you could, you'd choke to death.

eat + shit - this is absolutely digusting, to eat and shit at the same time.

eat + fuck - You'll never know if you are hungry or horny.

sleep + shit - Generally utterly gross, the cleanup afterward is a pain, and this is something kids are made fun of.

sleep + fuck - If you're sleeping during coitus, it means the sex is bad,

shit + fuck - Absolutely gross by most people's standards, and a good way to get diseases.

Chocolate + Sex is a good example of the eat + fuck combination. Bad, bad bad!

Re: oh, absolutely

[loachie.livejournal.com]

And didn't Elvis die on the toilet while eating a donut?

eat + shit = death (!)

[underfiend.livejournal.com]

You always say the sexiest things.