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Oct. 5th, 2014 06:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzWent to a wedding that was a really sweet mixture of middle-eastern and US tradition (or lack thereof - in the US people make shit up and think it's a tradition). They explained to everyone, being a diverse crowd, all the different things that were going to happen and what they meant. I think there is one HUGE advantage to middle-eastern wedding traditions - if this version was reflective of this part accurately - in that the bride and groom got to sit down. Now the honey dipping - hard not to smirk and I barely held in my honeymoon comments but I did.
A room full of educated professionals. Largely attractive, very diverse - right down to the number of people clearly uncomfortable in their dressed up clothes.
The mesh of horrible mainstream music and wedding dancing, with persian wedding music and dancing (with a sikh dj!), was one thing - but when the parents, who were not terribly young, tore up the dance floor I literally jaw dropped. I mean the mom was all mom-like throughout the proceedings - I swear she moved slow - but when she busted out first to a song and started shimmying her chest, spinning a scarf around, and just letting it all out!? Then her husband joining her, their gentle sparring on the dance floor? Friggin adorable.
Didn't go out last night. A few beers through many hours, wearing a suit too long, and although it went well there is that tension of talking to strangers for a long time and not being vulgar...with the only out prospect being a club that smells worse than my apartment I stayed in to close out my night alone with my silly video game. Though, that was nice as this coffee is today.
And...god I don't want to date. I heard a lot of stories about dating; not inspiring. I don't want to face so much awkward, get to know through formal talk over and over again, sit through awkward hours when it's clearly not happening, figure out how to dress,
and my personal favorite go back over logistics again. Everyone has something or 20 somethings, from herpes to 800 strains of hpv. There is no safe, and of course hooking up with anybody crosses off 400 other people. One week - I think that's how long it may have taken to go from yay-free to ... well it's not feeling utterly rejected, but even yes has its issues. Me too - I come with my own stories and disclaimers. I should stare that in the face though. Fear has its purpose, but I can't let it paralyze me.
A room full of educated professionals. Largely attractive, very diverse - right down to the number of people clearly uncomfortable in their dressed up clothes.
The mesh of horrible mainstream music and wedding dancing, with persian wedding music and dancing (with a sikh dj!), was one thing - but when the parents, who were not terribly young, tore up the dance floor I literally jaw dropped. I mean the mom was all mom-like throughout the proceedings - I swear she moved slow - but when she busted out first to a song and started shimmying her chest, spinning a scarf around, and just letting it all out!? Then her husband joining her, their gentle sparring on the dance floor? Friggin adorable.
Didn't go out last night. A few beers through many hours, wearing a suit too long, and although it went well there is that tension of talking to strangers for a long time and not being vulgar...with the only out prospect being a club that smells worse than my apartment I stayed in to close out my night alone with my silly video game. Though, that was nice as this coffee is today.
And...god I don't want to date. I heard a lot of stories about dating; not inspiring. I don't want to face so much awkward, get to know through formal talk over and over again, sit through awkward hours when it's clearly not happening, figure out how to dress,
and my personal favorite go back over logistics again. Everyone has something or 20 somethings, from herpes to 800 strains of hpv. There is no safe, and of course hooking up with anybody crosses off 400 other people. One week - I think that's how long it may have taken to go from yay-free to ... well it's not feeling utterly rejected, but even yes has its issues. Me too - I come with my own stories and disclaimers. I should stare that in the face though. Fear has its purpose, but I can't let it paralyze me.
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Date: 2014-10-05 02:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-05 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-10-05 05:27 pm (UTC)Basically I'm saying I sympathize. With your mood swings, with the frustration over dating, with the need/desire/hope/obsession with partnership/companionship. I also enjoy your continual conversation about STIs.
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Date: 2014-10-05 09:30 pm (UTC)I also appreciate the openness about mixed feelings. I hope we both get our happies but in ways that don't leave us broken long-term?
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Date: 2014-10-11 01:44 pm (UTC)Come visit. Come visit, come visit, come visit.
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Date: 2014-10-11 02:12 pm (UTC)Working on it, not set though.
Not surgery makes it a lot more possible.
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Date: 2014-10-12 05:07 am (UTC)