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Life is the LSAT
I think part of the stress problem was I was not used to it. I'm not going to do this forever, but I'm far more able to handle the constant more-work-than-I-can-handle. I'm used to half-assed submissions. I'm used to the mountain. I'm used to carving out time if I can, or just collapsing when the day is done.
The thing that isn't going away is the constant worry. I wake up at 2, 3, by 4 I just get up. I thought I was addicted to playing video games, and perhaps I am, but what is happening is I wake up and start to think about my workload, planning what can be done, worrying about the work that I meant to do a month ago that wasn't done. I CAN do each and every piece of my job, but I don't have time. It's maddening.
I. Like. The. Gym.
There seem to be a lot more real lifters there, really strong guys. I've seen multiple guys doing squats at 3 plates and above. I'm still recuperating, but I'm not in a hurry and happy just to be able to squat 2 plates, or dl 3, again. While I'm "down here" I"m trying to lock in my form a bit more.
I'm leaving the house more, spending time with friends. This is good - been doing the same routine for years and need to break out somehow.
The game - the video game is just enough distraction to keep me from (really) thinking about work. It's like being drunk without the side effects, blanking out the feelings that keep me up at night. I don't get any sleep, but at least for an hour I can't hear the voices.
No, that doesn't sound crazy. Hard work is hard, but it's work and it's possible.
The thing that isn't going away is the constant worry. I wake up at 2, 3, by 4 I just get up. I thought I was addicted to playing video games, and perhaps I am, but what is happening is I wake up and start to think about my workload, planning what can be done, worrying about the work that I meant to do a month ago that wasn't done. I CAN do each and every piece of my job, but I don't have time. It's maddening.
I. Like. The. Gym.
There seem to be a lot more real lifters there, really strong guys. I've seen multiple guys doing squats at 3 plates and above. I'm still recuperating, but I'm not in a hurry and happy just to be able to squat 2 plates, or dl 3, again. While I'm "down here" I"m trying to lock in my form a bit more.
I'm leaving the house more, spending time with friends. This is good - been doing the same routine for years and need to break out somehow.
The game - the video game is just enough distraction to keep me from (really) thinking about work. It's like being drunk without the side effects, blanking out the feelings that keep me up at night. I don't get any sleep, but at least for an hour I can't hear the voices.
No, that doesn't sound crazy. Hard work is hard, but it's work and it's possible.
no subject
Glad work's getting to be a little more manageable again.