vicarz | (no subject)

Kim - I don't think she actually took me to the Depo, but she might have? I know we went to Poseur's...last night in the depo I remembered, vaguely with no name, the girl from Psi-Chi who took me to the depo. I remember hearing Gruesome Twosome's "Hallucination Generation" and being floored, having the stuck in my head for years before I heard it again - years later I actually got a copy
(was given and I'm still grateful)

I wouldn't have imagined I'd still be going 20+ years later, listening to many of the SAME SONGS, and being so comfortable. Not socially awkward or insecure. Uh, and muscular. It's all ... I try to keep a perspective on where I've been. I used to rent a room. I made beans and rice and ate it for a week, and didn't like the taste one bit. I had a sketchy car and knew where junkyards were. I worked full time while going to grad school...then did it again, only in a much harder job and harder school with law school. Now I waste tons of time and feel like I don't have time to clean or shop...over years, decades, I've slipped into a comfortable place where I can forget the constant fear. Now life is just where do I waste my time, how much stronger than average do I get, how fast do I get to retirement and at what level...

I've gone from drinking to alleviate pain to...a mild taste to keep from getting raspy while I yell over the music.

THIS, I suppose, THIS is why I worked so hard. I don't think I understood what it was I was working for in substance - I didn't know it would feel like this, but all that fucking sacrifice and misery is finally paying dividends. Small but regular dividends. I've gone from salving pain to...whatever the fuck this is. I can't quite articulate it yet, but I'll take it - I like it.

Law school, dad in the hospital, pain has become like the dentist - I remember it hurt but I can't feel that pain the same way. I can't recall acute pain.

I still know I was crazy not long ago, and many times before that. I don't know what wall there is, paper or stone, between me and crazy again.

Speaking of crazy oddly at the training I gave a bunch of the fellows, some obviously athletic and strong, were full of question about whether they could bring guns to work and when not if they could keep them in the car. I held back asking if any of them had been shot at or drawn that gun lately. Fear, what of? Statistically irrelevant what exactly? Do people see a movie or FOX and suddenly think a scary man is going to attack them and their family with a knife? Guns aren't cheap to buy or maintain either.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Depot? Probably not; I'd occasionally stop by there or The Club Charles for a drink, but it didn't have a big enough dance floor to make me happy.

A bunch of us were talking about staying with the scene last night; I can't believe it's been 30+ years in a way (then again I thought I'd be dead by now too). But there's a community there which is home, as was once again made clear this week when some friends of ours needed help - Laurel was shot as was a roommate and she and Dan's house was burned to a crisp so the freaks are all doing what they can to help them out. We may dress funny and look scary to the rest of the world, but we take care of our own.

You also took me to the drinkery :)

I wish I felt more of a community, but I like the idea.

"...a bunch of the fellows, some obviously athletic and strong, were full of question about whether they could bring guns to work and when not if they could keep them in the car. I held back asking if any of them had been shot at or drawn that gun lately. Fear, what of? Statistically irrelevant what exactly? Do people see a movie or FOX and suddenly think a scary man is going to attack them and their family with a knife? Guns aren't cheap to buy or maintain either."

I'm not sure what training event it was, but it is a very valid concern to know whether or not you can carry to work. Some places (stores, restaurants, etc.) have rules prohibiting carrying weapons, so as a responsible gun owner you want to be aware of those things so you don't violate any laws. Some Virginia residents also have concealed carry permits, and they may be carrying all the time as a means of proactive self-defense. There is nothing sensationalistic about being ready to defend yourself and your loved ones in case you are attacked, as it can happen (I was mugged at knifepoint outside a Safeway at 3:00pm several years back). I have a subscription to the bulletins from Virginia Citizens Defense League (http://vcdl.org/), and they are always posting news stories from around the nation of instances where someone who is legally carrying is able to thwart an armed attacker (one who has a gun, that is) and defend themselves as well as others. It isn't so much out of fear, but out of a desire to be prepared.

I think I understand your point except that you state carrying a gun isn't based on fear. Being constantly prepared for attack by carrying a leathal weapon that you have to strap on, that weighs more than a laptop, appears to me to be fear. I'm not sure how carrying a weapon to defend against an unknown possibility of attack can be anything but fear. Legal sure, but fear.

"...by carrying a leathal weapon that you have to strap on, that weighs more than a laptop..."

I'm not sure when you last picked up a gun, but some of them are surprisingly light these days and weigh barely anything. Polymer frames make quite a difference!

Just out of curiosity, do you lock your condo door because you fear someone will come in, or is it just a matter of being prepared and preventing someone from easily entering your home?

I almost forget to put pants on to go in the hall...but the door is absolutely locked out of fear. That is why carrying a gun is also out of fear, only constant were I to do so. Some people lock their car doors while driving - most don't. If you do, it's out of fear (more than those who do not).

I guess I just don't see how having a sense of caution equates with having a sense of fear, but you seem to be defining it as the same thing so we'll go with it.

For what it's worth, there are some people I know who carry a gun because they feel it's their right to do so under the Second Amendment, just like anyone else who exercises their Constitutional rights for various issues they believe in. For those who carry a gun out of a sense of emergency preparedness, I don't really think it's an irrational "fear." Bad shit does happen to regular people every day, and it's far better to be prepared than to be caught off guard without any means of self-defense. How you worded your post made it sound like it's a negative thing for someone to want to be prepared to defend themselves in a hostile situation, and you also make it sound like bad things (like assault, rape, robbery, etc.) only happen in stories on sensationalistic news programs trying to get ratings and never in real life to ordinary people.

I must respond internettedly:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz9V5MW3G4w&feature=g-upl&context=G26d97fdAUAAAAAAABAA

I'm not sure I otherwise agree. If you overprepare or buden yourself based on a statisically unlikely scenario, then you've overreacted. People are voting based on fear. I think its a burden to carry a phone all the time - guns often weigh more than phones.

I guess caution might be locking the door, You lock the door and are done with it. The gun is a constant reminder (and burden) for an continued action without pause. Seems more fear-y to me.

Further,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=UqPYVJktcM8&feature=endscreen

Oh no! You've tricked me into watch the adipose video under the guise of it being something relevant to the discussion. I feel so violated. :P

Score! Never fawk with an attorney! If we can't win we'll dance - what ho's!

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Dignity, I lack it