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[personal profile] vicarz
Wait, you know what? I take it all back.
After 5 hours comp time on Sat, I have taken some personal time to do some math. I think my expectations were built on hearing about this "pay for performance" issue and thinking of the private sector where I see 5% and 10% or more raises for employees. While running the numbers shows me that my % increase was small, what I did was then compare my rate of pay to the GS scale system - and realized I've moved up about 2 "steps." In other words, I accepted low pay as a part of my position - and I knew damn well what the salary range was. The fact that we have this unanticipated-by-me pay-for-performance system in place means that my salary has skyrockted far greater than I otherwise could have reasonably expected. I've jumped multiple steps in a short period of time - with my rate practically a step 6. The 10% raise would have put me near the ceiling for the grade.

So by my earlier expectations I'm doing damn good within the career I set myself up in.

Now the very thick creamy icing on the fucking cake - I worked 5 hours comp time today. Now, I bitch about the hours I put in - but I'm unusual working as an attorney who gets to take credit for all the hours he works! There are other gubby-lawyers who simply work as full time professionals - thanks to an unsuccessful suit some time ago they don't get paid for overtime or are allowed to collect comp time. Sure I work too much right now, but I am collecting comp time to do the work and am allowed to take that time off later (in theory, if we are ever that slow again).

I guess the other thing for me to do is find a way to do my job without taking as long as I do. Am I retarded? Why is it so labor intensive for me to process these cases?

Anyway - I'm back to feeling lucky, luckier. Disappointment was silly.

So I've finished my expected cross, logistical nightmare on video conferencing one witness, prepared my expected witness questions, and re-re-re-organized the hearing exhibits so I can pull anything out in a moment's notice. Now I have the time to go out and play, see Minneapolis, go to that art shanty thing, go to the megamall, drink by myself, go to a show by myself, watch a movie, hit dave and buster's clone, anything I like. I have club listings, a city paper, emails from friends, and links to places I could go - oh and I'm a few blocks from "The Gay 90s."
I'd link their site but when I went there NAV warned me about suspicious activity
However, I'm just tired and want to curl up. I KNOW I SHOULD go out and do things, and while I'm not as eager to do things alone it's not like I'm scared to - but I just don't feel like it. I am really not taking advantage of my travel benefits at all.

I have some job applications I should fill out, but it's really hard to motivate.

If my boo were here we could walk around in my huge shower and not get wet.
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May 2018

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