vicarz | (no subject)

So that was kind of weird - yesterday I wound up in two houses: one I mentioned, gorgeous, "a place I'd like to get drunk," and the other a family home. The family one kind of made me all fuzzy. It looked very family like - not in disarray, but very being-lived-in-right-now. It had a homey smell, several. It was a place for living, not tip-toeing. After biking everyone sat, covered in their briney filth, on the cloth couches. I couldn't get myself to do that, opting for wood floors. The girls were frigging adorable, and if you ignore the 'mom is a jungle gym' urges, very well mannered. Why is it that you don't so much notice how cute and tiny children are, but their hands and feet just look adorably miniature? The youngest bowled me over in her sister's hand-me-down rainbow striped dress - it made her look like a roll of life-savers. This silly part of me wondered if in my dress-wearing days I could have pulled that off (what a pride outfit). For once I mostly didn't use profanities around the kids - it was ok to say butt, I was told. "Of course, it's a conjunction!"
And, but, and or...they'll get you pretty far!

I really like the idea of quieting down and settling in to that life, though I know NOTHING about it. Kids? I just got busted on how long it has been since I had a pet of my own. My mom has always done the lion's share of pet responsibility, except perhaps for my cat (but that was over 20 years ago?) (and it was a friggin cat, for crying out loud, not exactly demanding constant attention). I don't understand how you do it - it's such a huge (but rewarding) responsibility. How do you feed and respond to someone who has a constant need for attention (uh, sounds like me) and continue to do that for years? I heard a couple guys in the gym complimenting a fairly fit big guy - for being in shape after kids. I have a big emphasis on fitness, but I can't even imagine how hard that has to be post children - if it's hard to keep a program going on your own, how about when you have an 80 - 120 hour a week demanding job with little foots? Oh god, how do you talk to children like adults like you're supposed to when that baby talk thing is so cute?

I also got schooled, big time, on some of the things that can happen with the pregnancy process and post-pregnancy changes or not-changes. Had no idea, though it all makes sense. Tendons do what? Pelvis huh? Back where? Oh, well yeah that would make it easier, huh.

But curiosity and appreciation from afar aside, I'm a million miles away from kids.

Speaking of warm and cozy - spellbound last night was really cool. It was a funny club vibe - very mellow, conversational, and comfortable. Lots of good talkery. Had yet another straight guy compliment my physique. Maybe I should put on a few more pounds so I seem more approachable?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm sure it's not as difficult, but with the time committment...yeah. On the other hand, while I love bodies and fitness - to me when the relationship hits child status it's not that looks go out the window, but that goes from "my girl, my woman, my wife" to "the mother of my children." I'm not quite sure what that means, but it sure seems like forever.

I asked my husband if he'd still love me if I looked like Pierce Brosnan's wife, who appears to have put on some major poundage due to some kind of illness. He said that he would. I'm sure I'd still love him, but I have to admit that I would be a bit upset that he "let himself go". I honestly think that I look better than before having children, I'm not sure what he thinks. As it stands, Logan is a good motivator to get us to continue to work hard and be in shape. Just as I can't swear around him anymore, and I have to watch what goes in my mouth (monkey see, monkey do), I want him to pick up on good health habits.

lol honestly, I never understood the special status associated with "the mother of my children".

I've said and meant forever to people, and had it said and meant back to me - children seem to remove the optional component of that statement?

Only until they're old enough to be on their own. My parents don't have to talk to each other now, although they do, scarily enough, on occasion.

I've always taken the phrase "Mother of my Children" as am honorific elevated status that is beyond a choice because it is inherently something to respect and appreciate. I'm lucky enough that my ex husband respects and appreciates me and, yes, honors me as the mother of his children. I think of it as a goddess like position.

As for my body, I'm sure you remember what I looked like before kids. Well, I never looked better than six months AFTER my second child (I was 27). Ironically, in contrary to empressmiaka, I give credit to breastfeeding since that knocks out over 500 calories a day that goes to your kid and not your thighs. My stomach was flat flat flat. My hips gracefully curvy and my jugs were KNOCKERS! BEAUTIFUL PERKY KNOCKERS! Pre babies I was 105-108 lbs. Six month post babies at 27, I was 98-102 lbs. Ahhhh, I wish I didn't make my exhusband erase all my naughty pictures from his computer when we got divorced. Hmmm...all that being said, I'm currently at 33, 112-114 lbs, went down 1 and a half cups sizes (I might say that WAS from breastfeeding, though they're still perky after 2 years of carrying milk). The ligaments in my hips will never be the same and I have never known migranes until recently. I think the weight gain came on when I started a full time desk job, instead of my student life before. And my hollow legs aren't hollow anymore. Kids changed my body, but I was healthy before, during and after childbearing, and I don't think my pregancies had any affect on metabolism post weaning. I lucked out with practically no stretch marks, too, and I know that's dumb luck. Mostly, I think, it's how old you are when you had kids and what kind of lifestyle you led before, during and after. Heheh, I remember lifting weights when I was about 8 months pregnant...this dude took one look at me and mumbled..."Gee, I wish MY wife would work out."

You know, J, sometimes I wondered whether or not we could be friends again outside of the internet, but reading that post made me feel really good. My friends all like to go out and drink and dance and party, and hike and travel for leisure, but they always think of my home as a comforting place to come back to. You should stop by sometime. I'll bake you chocolate cupcskes from scratch.

(Man, I wish I still had those knockers!)

I still have a slightly naughty picture or two of you, and they're still quite appreciated. I never thought we had any friendship problems, just that you are very busy with your life and that's fine :)

I'm all about a visit and cupcakes.