(no subject)

[vicarz]

What the fuck is wrong with you people? I seem to be...getting sympathy for all the stuff that has happened to me in my life lately? Am I misreading people's reactions - that somehow the grief in my life exempts me from what some think are my just desserts? It makes no sense - I am supposed to be the product of my own actions. The people in my life, love or no, have suffered the consequences for their own choice and actions or lack thereof. Whether that hurts me or not, I live with the consequence of my actions - including who I include as family and friends and how I react to the issues in their lives.

If you feel for me, it should be for me - not my situation. I can't control how people feel and react, but for the love of cheese - be realistic. I don't deserve a thing - if I'm a jerk, treat me as such, as you will. Ignore me if I don't earn your respect. If you're going to show me concern, let it be for me and what I've done - not pity, not some doe-eyed reflex to puppy eyes and romance novel situations which invoke sympathy. I either earned or did not earn your respect. If I did not earn your respect, then reject me and let me feel that pain and through that discover another form of growth to fill the emptiness your valuable insights left behind. If I earn your respect, show it if that's what you think you're supposed to or want to do.

It's also been pointed out that I lash out more at the people I care about...

Comments

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

It's also been pointed out that I lash out more at the people I care about...

Hmmm... I'd say you do not do such.

Tho, think of it this way. If you care about someone you are likely going to spend more time interacting with them and therefore lashing out more than, say, with someone you don't spend much time talking to.

:D

--k

[underfiend.livejournal.com]

If it makes you feel any better, I was just happy to see you out at the bar. That's... about it. Hey, sexy likes the company of sexy.

Cock

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY!!!

[cweaselle.livejournal.com]

I just feel pity for your pain because I shouldn't, but I assume you felt bad when I was possibly dying. It shows me what my other friends & definately my family must have felt.

I don't like the situation because your dad leaving could have been me. My family might have had to keep me living on machines forever, but they luckily didn't have to.

If you don't want my sympathy feel free to tell me not to feel that way, but until you tell me not to care about your feelings I'm going to keep trying to understand what you all must have gone through with me.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

You mean I'm stuck with you and your friendship? Sigh... ;)

[cweaselle.livejournal.com]

If you want to stop being my friend I'll understand because you caring about my problems probably don't help with yours.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Don't be silly. I'm keeping you. You're stuck too!

[cweaselle.livejournal.com]

I'm not stuck at all. If I wanted to I could just stop answering you & reading your livejournal. I will not be doing that until you tell me that is what you want. Neither of us are stuck that is part of why we are friends.

[turbogrrl.livejournal.com]

didn't you get the memo? People love assholes :p Now you're even more attractive!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I am well aware of the asshole = tons of friends and free poon issue, but somehow I was exempted from the subsidies portion of that program.

[turbogrrl.livejournal.com]

*nods* Perhaps the program guidelines have been revised for the upcoming fiscal year, and now you qualify?

I'm suddenly reminded that I haven't seen the question-mark-guy ("ask me how to get FREE MONEY from the government!") around recently.

In any case, it doesn't matter. I like you, tragedy or no, eyeliner or no, ice cream or no.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Wow, I must be an asshole - girls like me! Neat!

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

You are the perfect kind of asshole.

You are the asshole that people still like after the mystique fades away.

Most assholes just turn out to be broken little boys like the rest of us once that facade fades and the chick stops trying to "fix him" and the interest wans.

--kelowna

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Aw thank you.
BTW this is the perfect asshole right here: *

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

:::HUGS:::

hmm

[desiringmachine.livejournal.com]

i don't think this entirely makes sense...if i didn't know and like you, your whole situation would evoke the same response as my idiot co-worker whose life is utter shit because she is a moron. mostly that response is silence, occasionally it's 'i need to get this work done, i can't talk to you'.

i suppose you could have a bunch of people reading and responding to you LJ that you know don't actually like you... but that just seems weird.

Re: hmm

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I'm being weird off and on. 2am posts are funny

Re: hmm

[desiringmachine.livejournal.com]

well, you're allowed, 2am or no.