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Today is not as good as yesterday. I was just plain defeated by the judge in a conf call this AM, and the family of the lying complainant lied just as much if not more than he did. It’s hard not to work with middle-eastern or Indian complainants and not develop biases. When you find a class of people are arrogant and have no shame about lying to get money throughout your experience, when is it a reasonable expectation and when is it racial or national-origin prejudice to notice a pattern? Do other people have these ugly thoughts and not share them, or am I unusually ugly in my feelings?
Tonight I’m going to dinner with the woman I should have made babies with. It’s years too late to be aware of this, but I am. I’m weird enough to want to tell her as some sort of outdated apology or flattery - years ago I would have said it (I may have actually said as much, we’ve been friends forever) but now I know better. No real regrets - I’m not sure it would have actually worked out, but she would have really been a good choice had I gone down that road. She did everything, everything right.
Me, I’m fit. That’s all. Yesterday I only noticed after another day of depos that I had neglected lunch, deciding not to do the 5 mile run. I toiled for minutes about whether to work out or not - I had to eat, but if I ate it would be hard to run. I compromised - I ate and then ran my 2 mile course. My stomach said unhappy things to me, but I felt good that I did something. I wussed out on 5 miles, but did something.
I’m friggin tired and just trying to keep in mind that I do have the time to do the work I have to do. I can’t get dejected or frustrated - have to maintain perspective. I’d rather just throw a trantrum.
Tonight I’m going to dinner with the woman I should have made babies with. It’s years too late to be aware of this, but I am. I’m weird enough to want to tell her as some sort of outdated apology or flattery - years ago I would have said it (I may have actually said as much, we’ve been friends forever) but now I know better. No real regrets - I’m not sure it would have actually worked out, but she would have really been a good choice had I gone down that road. She did everything, everything right.
Me, I’m fit. That’s all. Yesterday I only noticed after another day of depos that I had neglected lunch, deciding not to do the 5 mile run. I toiled for minutes about whether to work out or not - I had to eat, but if I ate it would be hard to run. I compromised - I ate and then ran my 2 mile course. My stomach said unhappy things to me, but I felt good that I did something. I wussed out on 5 miles, but did something.
I’m friggin tired and just trying to keep in mind that I do have the time to do the work I have to do. I can’t get dejected or frustrated - have to maintain perspective. I’d rather just throw a trantrum.
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Psst there are aspects of you and I that I would rewind and redo if I could. Don't mean to sound all dramatic, but I was "young" when we dated.
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