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vicarzI'm not so much updating as making sure that all my LJ friends have a picture of a baby wombat on their screens. I am all about the baby wombat. It's so ugly and pretty, so innocent and wise. Gaze into the wombat. Feel the wombat. Be the wombat. Ohmmm.
I'm not very smart. I'm noticing that out of a class of about 30 people in criminal law, only about 5 respond to questions. We typically start off active, but then when we've all answered a few questions we wait to let the class respond. They don't. They just sit there, until finally one of us 5 raises their hand again. I don't mean to show off - just keeping us from grinding to a halt.
I'm very wrapped up in grades right now. I talked to a smarter and harder working friend who has far higher grades than me. She worked more hours than me, was a blackberry slave from day 1, but who consistently beats me out for grades. Now she's acing everything as she quit her job. She calls me intelligent, and I think she's full of it unless she has a wide basis for comparison. I've learned that I'm not smart, but I accommodate that weakness with hard work. I write things down. Think I'm good at writing? I'm not - but if I'm better than you it's probably because I do it more. I give myself buffers of time. I allocate tons of time for projects, sometimes using it all. I build in rewards for every task to keep me at it. "No starcraft unless you finish Mon's assignments." I'm not smart, but she is nice or just avoids noting she's better than me - why, when it is so obvious. Manners are strange.
Talked to Angie in the airport last night - noted it seemed odd to me that my friends were flying all over the country for weddings. I only recently learned that people gave gifts at weddings, that there are all these odd rituals everyone but me seems to know. She thought it was odd that I wouldn't fly across the country for a wedding. Fly? Baltimore might be too much...I guess I just wasn't raised that way?
I listened to some kids making fun of each other over how hard they worked. One noted he still briefed cases, and they stared at him. I get the impression, between the silent members of the class who obviously don't do the readings (they volunteer quickly for questions that don't refer to the text), and the hallway conversations, that most people don't do the reading, only read "cliff note" versions or headnotes, or only skim and then just take notes in class. Not me, not the dumb one. No, unlike my party peers, I spend all the time needed on the weekend cramming, briefing, and taking dozens of pages of notes. A big brain helps in law, but is hardly necessary. I can't think quickly, I can't respond to argument, I can barely hold my own on facts. It just happens that for what little jello my head holds, I have filled it with the cases. No matter how smart you are, if you don't put the time in, you won't have the facts you need. The arguments won't be obvious if you didn't address them over and over again. I know I'm dumb. I know I have to work. I know if I skip one section I won't get it on my own. I do the work, all the work, in advance. I win out over smart people through sheer grunt work.
It's the same in the gym. I'm small and effeminate, yet I've morphed into a fairly substantial force. I know I am weak, I know I am short, and I know I can hardly fight worth a damn even after years of training. However, knowing all this I stick to a program and am never satisfied. While many are impressed with my abilities, they are typically impressed with ratios. If you look at raw numbers, I'm only so-so. It just so happens that most people are a foot taller than I am with more testosterone. That, and I'm not getting younger. Still, I keep plugging away, getting stronger, learning more, and practicing skills. I endure pain. I watch large and strong men show up in the gym, do the weights wrong, hit the bag and barely make it move, and leave confident. They are not working out; rather, they are confirming their status in their head. They see me with "less" weight, looking smaller, and leave feeling good about themselves. I see how they throw the weights around like they're having a seizure, know I am stronger, and let them keep believing it. If I have something to prove in person, it'll be fast, firm, and a surprise. I pass people far my superior through sheer grunt work.
edit - seems I've said this before http://vicar.livejournal.com/451502.html
Hey look, a wombat!
I'm not very smart. I'm noticing that out of a class of about 30 people in criminal law, only about 5 respond to questions. We typically start off active, but then when we've all answered a few questions we wait to let the class respond. They don't. They just sit there, until finally one of us 5 raises their hand again. I don't mean to show off - just keeping us from grinding to a halt.
I'm very wrapped up in grades right now. I talked to a smarter and harder working friend who has far higher grades than me. She worked more hours than me, was a blackberry slave from day 1, but who consistently beats me out for grades. Now she's acing everything as she quit her job. She calls me intelligent, and I think she's full of it unless she has a wide basis for comparison. I've learned that I'm not smart, but I accommodate that weakness with hard work. I write things down. Think I'm good at writing? I'm not - but if I'm better than you it's probably because I do it more. I give myself buffers of time. I allocate tons of time for projects, sometimes using it all. I build in rewards for every task to keep me at it. "No starcraft unless you finish Mon's assignments." I'm not smart, but she is nice or just avoids noting she's better than me - why, when it is so obvious. Manners are strange.
Talked to Angie in the airport last night - noted it seemed odd to me that my friends were flying all over the country for weddings. I only recently learned that people gave gifts at weddings, that there are all these odd rituals everyone but me seems to know. She thought it was odd that I wouldn't fly across the country for a wedding. Fly? Baltimore might be too much...I guess I just wasn't raised that way?
I listened to some kids making fun of each other over how hard they worked. One noted he still briefed cases, and they stared at him. I get the impression, between the silent members of the class who obviously don't do the readings (they volunteer quickly for questions that don't refer to the text), and the hallway conversations, that most people don't do the reading, only read "cliff note" versions or headnotes, or only skim and then just take notes in class. Not me, not the dumb one. No, unlike my party peers, I spend all the time needed on the weekend cramming, briefing, and taking dozens of pages of notes. A big brain helps in law, but is hardly necessary. I can't think quickly, I can't respond to argument, I can barely hold my own on facts. It just happens that for what little jello my head holds, I have filled it with the cases. No matter how smart you are, if you don't put the time in, you won't have the facts you need. The arguments won't be obvious if you didn't address them over and over again. I know I'm dumb. I know I have to work. I know if I skip one section I won't get it on my own. I do the work, all the work, in advance. I win out over smart people through sheer grunt work.
It's the same in the gym. I'm small and effeminate, yet I've morphed into a fairly substantial force. I know I am weak, I know I am short, and I know I can hardly fight worth a damn even after years of training. However, knowing all this I stick to a program and am never satisfied. While many are impressed with my abilities, they are typically impressed with ratios. If you look at raw numbers, I'm only so-so. It just so happens that most people are a foot taller than I am with more testosterone. That, and I'm not getting younger. Still, I keep plugging away, getting stronger, learning more, and practicing skills. I endure pain. I watch large and strong men show up in the gym, do the weights wrong, hit the bag and barely make it move, and leave confident. They are not working out; rather, they are confirming their status in their head. They see me with "less" weight, looking smaller, and leave feeling good about themselves. I see how they throw the weights around like they're having a seizure, know I am stronger, and let them keep believing it. If I have something to prove in person, it'll be fast, firm, and a surprise. I pass people far my superior through sheer grunt work.
edit - seems I've said this before http://vicar.livejournal.com/451502.html
Hey look, a wombat!
