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Sep. 6th, 2005 09:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzI had a wonderful, wonderful weekend.
Sick of news. Watched black and white films this AM while eating breakfast.
Tonight at 9:30, TCM is showing Greta Garbo's 1927 silent film "Flesh and the Devil."
This weekend I was accused of being a ghost. Well, not exactly accused. I put forth the idea of moving back to where I grew up, of buying one of these little houses and completing the cycle. “Do you want to be a ghost” or was it “You don’t want to be a ghost.” The words (though I don’t recall them exactly) struck me. Is my love affair with childhood romantic in a sense, or a symptom? I think of ghost as something lingering behind, which should have moved on but for some reason unable to make the transition to the next step. Perhaps a ghost could be a good thing though, something that stays behind to pass along an important message to following generations? Does ghost have to be negative? Does a ghost have to be the whole person, or can a part be ghosting while the whole generally moves on?
When I was a child some of my best friends, best memories, and best lessons came from adults I knew. I met people, but then again things were different. We played outside and there was no fear of being carted off by strange men. Are things different, or has the culture of fear led to the perception that things are scary when they are about the same?
Wandering around a village of memories, I wanted to reach out and help my young and stupid self - almost accosting a random teen with the feeling like I could tell them what they needed to know. My partner in crime walloped me to prevent this interaction. I was baffled at first - confusing my intentions with a bad idea. I always wanted to pet squirrels, but of course if I could tame a squirrel that would leave them at the risk of the intentions of other men. Don’t talk to strangers, even if they dress like you and are hanging out with a female friend.
I might be the world’s shittiest parent - look at all this burden I have ready to dump on another life. “I can help you do everything I wanted, while making none of the mistakes!” He’s a madman…run children, run and never look back!
Then again, I thought about my recent experience training, and wondered about other ways I could combine that experience with other things I’d like to do. Perhaps I could be a ghost, giving up this career to return and teach in a public school I once attended. Would I enjoy that, despite the salary? Wouldn’t that be the respectable thing to do that I often preach to others? Is that being a ghost, or taking a healthy approach to that desire to help others? I dated a teacher, Melanie, and she was quickly disillusioned about today’s kids.
You know what I could really do? Bug my sister’s kids. Oh that would rock. That way I’m contributing to my gene pool in a sense. I could be that super-creepy uncle! I could preach to the kids to the dismay and aggravation of my sister for all time!
Kid: “But I don’t want to see Uncle Jose! He’s always telling me what to do and thinks he knows everything!”
Sis: “I don’t like him either, but we need the money. Now get out of the house.”
Oh that would be lovely. A family ghost.
Sick of news. Watched black and white films this AM while eating breakfast.
Tonight at 9:30, TCM is showing Greta Garbo's 1927 silent film "Flesh and the Devil."
This weekend I was accused of being a ghost. Well, not exactly accused. I put forth the idea of moving back to where I grew up, of buying one of these little houses and completing the cycle. “Do you want to be a ghost” or was it “You don’t want to be a ghost.” The words (though I don’t recall them exactly) struck me. Is my love affair with childhood romantic in a sense, or a symptom? I think of ghost as something lingering behind, which should have moved on but for some reason unable to make the transition to the next step. Perhaps a ghost could be a good thing though, something that stays behind to pass along an important message to following generations? Does ghost have to be negative? Does a ghost have to be the whole person, or can a part be ghosting while the whole generally moves on?
When I was a child some of my best friends, best memories, and best lessons came from adults I knew. I met people, but then again things were different. We played outside and there was no fear of being carted off by strange men. Are things different, or has the culture of fear led to the perception that things are scary when they are about the same?
Wandering around a village of memories, I wanted to reach out and help my young and stupid self - almost accosting a random teen with the feeling like I could tell them what they needed to know. My partner in crime walloped me to prevent this interaction. I was baffled at first - confusing my intentions with a bad idea. I always wanted to pet squirrels, but of course if I could tame a squirrel that would leave them at the risk of the intentions of other men. Don’t talk to strangers, even if they dress like you and are hanging out with a female friend.
I might be the world’s shittiest parent - look at all this burden I have ready to dump on another life. “I can help you do everything I wanted, while making none of the mistakes!” He’s a madman…run children, run and never look back!
Then again, I thought about my recent experience training, and wondered about other ways I could combine that experience with other things I’d like to do. Perhaps I could be a ghost, giving up this career to return and teach in a public school I once attended. Would I enjoy that, despite the salary? Wouldn’t that be the respectable thing to do that I often preach to others? Is that being a ghost, or taking a healthy approach to that desire to help others? I dated a teacher, Melanie, and she was quickly disillusioned about today’s kids.
You know what I could really do? Bug my sister’s kids. Oh that would rock. That way I’m contributing to my gene pool in a sense. I could be that super-creepy uncle! I could preach to the kids to the dismay and aggravation of my sister for all time!
Kid: “But I don’t want to see Uncle Jose! He’s always telling me what to do and thinks he knows everything!”
Sis: “I don’t like him either, but we need the money. Now get out of the house.”
Oh that would be lovely. A family ghost.
