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Jun. 23rd, 2005 06:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzIt was almost very hard not to post lyrics despite knowing they don't translate to anyone else's mood when they read this.
For a moment my heart skipped at the sound of be beginning of the song. Like the scent of a old girlfriend I couldn't quite place, I knew what followed was beautiful though I couldn't remember what it was.
Soon thereafter the lyrics described the situation that created the mood perfectly.
Then the small differences came in. Cue, skip, repeat, cue, skip repeat...
The lyrics sunk in and did not describe my situation or my person, it wasn't them and it wasn't me, it wasn't our situation at all.
I retreated back into the song and made my own lyrics.
When they ran parallel I sung with them, when not I was on my own.
The air is cool where it is dark, and it streamed through the car as though I was moving in the shadows.
I rediscovered my voice. I'm not sure it's the same but it's still there. I'm not sure what it sounded like, but it was my voice.
The situation is mine, sad, and beautiful.
Duran duran can play their instruments, pop or no.
In a funny way I've celebrated - it took a while for my grades to sink in. I really did it - I've performed at the level of the top 10% of the class (thereabouts) for all but 1 of 4 semesters of school. My one weak semester kicked me to my lower class rank, but that was when I pinched a nerve and had an allergic reaction to a prescription. The girl I think is brilliant and works harder than me points this out over and over again, how I think I'm stupid and lazy while she is at the same level as I overall. One semester separates us.
I'm proud, finally, happy with my accomplishment. I often spend so much time detracting from what I do that I forget to relish it a little bit. I tend to get caught up in the negative motivation - study out of fear. It's good to remember to bask a little in the things you achieve.
Today's reward was shopping in Ikea. Now I just need the time to install all these lights.
I may nation tonight as I can get up late tomorrow before I drive to the eastern shore.
For a moment my heart skipped at the sound of be beginning of the song. Like the scent of a old girlfriend I couldn't quite place, I knew what followed was beautiful though I couldn't remember what it was.
Soon thereafter the lyrics described the situation that created the mood perfectly.
Then the small differences came in. Cue, skip, repeat, cue, skip repeat...
The lyrics sunk in and did not describe my situation or my person, it wasn't them and it wasn't me, it wasn't our situation at all.
I retreated back into the song and made my own lyrics.
When they ran parallel I sung with them, when not I was on my own.
The air is cool where it is dark, and it streamed through the car as though I was moving in the shadows.
I rediscovered my voice. I'm not sure it's the same but it's still there. I'm not sure what it sounded like, but it was my voice.
The situation is mine, sad, and beautiful.
Duran duran can play their instruments, pop or no.
In a funny way I've celebrated - it took a while for my grades to sink in. I really did it - I've performed at the level of the top 10% of the class (thereabouts) for all but 1 of 4 semesters of school. My one weak semester kicked me to my lower class rank, but that was when I pinched a nerve and had an allergic reaction to a prescription. The girl I think is brilliant and works harder than me points this out over and over again, how I think I'm stupid and lazy while she is at the same level as I overall. One semester separates us.
I'm proud, finally, happy with my accomplishment. I often spend so much time detracting from what I do that I forget to relish it a little bit. I tend to get caught up in the negative motivation - study out of fear. It's good to remember to bask a little in the things you achieve.
Today's reward was shopping in Ikea. Now I just need the time to install all these lights.
I may nation tonight as I can get up late tomorrow before I drive to the eastern shore.
