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Why did I wake up at 4:30 this morning, after going to bed around 1am?
Grocery store in the AM = contrasts in parenting. A woman with her daughter having the child check off the items, and discussing with her why they are buying the things they are, planning out menus. In front of me a teen-aged kid with his mom was buying his soda separately from her order. He was amazed at how much her food bill was, and she told him (in spanish) that it was for four people. He looked very humbled. Also saw a large man walking with a woman who was busy yelling at her daughter “Excuse me!? Do I not look busy? Now shut up! Damn!”
Everyone with a job or career thinks I’m a moron. No one agrees I should choose to not pursue this higher paying job. No one agrees with going to a cheap local law school, GMU, instead of UM which is much higher rated. PS GMU is conservative as hell, and UM is quite liberal. I almost want to go to UM because they are so embattled at the moment, and I think they rock for sticking to their guns. I’m stuck in a spiral of thinking about these things. Happy easy job vs. who-knows job with more $$$. Cheap law school that sucks nearby that allows me to work full-time so school is not an economic blow, vs much nicer and friendlier school that costs me a quarter million in opportunity cost alone.
I don’t like risk. Much of my life and goals are geared around security, so it’s pretty easy to see where my decisions will probably go. I keep seeking out opinions though, listening to all. I appreciate the honesty I’m getting, though I may choose the safest route.
If I go to law school I may try to conceal that fact, for I don’t trust my ability to see through the difference between genuine affections and someone faking because they want a lawyer husband. Not that the door is exactly being beaten down by suitors.
Why do I suddenly feel self-conscious about how long it’s been since I had sex?
*If you just said TMI, then you don’t know me very well – I know better but I’m not into putting on a proper public face*
Holding back and sticking to standards is a good thing. I know why I feel this way, but I keep hoping I’ll outgrow that silliness. In the same day a friend called to brag to me about getting laid (it was spectacular for them, and I’m happy for them – it’s not as cheesy as it sounds but I won’t explain) and another asked how long it had been since I slept with someone. It’s annoying because I’m deciding that since I’m gong to law school that’s a part of my life that will have to rest for quite some time. I could play, but that arena is so risky. I won’t have the time to have a real relationship, and I don’t really want to date people that don’t stand any chance of being real relationship material. Maybe I’m not into that idea of fuck buddies like in decades past.
Decades past…I feel old. Immature, but old.
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As I understand it the rating of the law school is important when employers make hiring decisions. Not to mention that the orientation of the faculty (politically) is really important because it affects the kind of opportunities you will get in law school (as far as the random research/consultant-y practice things that come along to students that don't come along to the rest of us). Another thought, is there anyone teaching in either school that you would want to work with? Finding a good mentor isn't a bad thing at any age and these people are in a good position to help you in your career. Have you given U of M an honest good look or is the distance making you think you shouldn't bother?
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why no salary?
Re: why no salary?
Most law schools only admit you for full-time work, and while I might be able to work part-time if I'm quite lucky, I would not be able to retain this job outside the DC metro area.
I hadn't considered working in the private sector. They are usually quite demanding in terms of hours worked and soforth.