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Nov. 13th, 2004 07:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzSo I've talked to a co-worker patiently for months now. He's a really nice guy, and has a lot of experience under his belt. He's very religious, but not in a pushy annoying way. He's also on meds because despite his well-paying job, law degree, and smiling white kids - he's miserable. Church and meds, wow. I get very frustrated talking to him, but based on his military and academic experience, and the scope of the stories he has shared - I assumed that were I patient and listening I might glean some wisdom from him. Don't get me wrong - the man isn't dumb, but I think yesterday's hearing was the last nail in that coffin.
I get very frustrated talking to him, for he constantly interrupts - and it took me a long time to learn his mannerisms. He often seems to have stopped talking, but he's just collecting his thoughts. He...talks...slowly. Now, I've thought people that talked slowly were just slow before - and even when right I've found that there is something to be said for those that think through what they say before they share it. Me, I fire from the hip before the thought is complete. I have spent months just patiently waiting for him to come to his point or conclusion - usually in vain.
I thought perhaps it's just because he is from the country, and my urge to type-A interrupt him is just my urban upbringing. I have spent much time forcing myself to listen, to wait, thinking that the conclusion must be around the corner. I keep instinctively interrupting with where I think he is going, and it seems to shut him down. Over and over I've tried to give way for his style.
Yesterday I watched him perform a hearing. Granted, it was under very difficult circumstances - but good lord...it was painful. He knew what was going on, but he did a very poor job of presenting it. I kept trying to see his strategy, to see if the Judge was understanding his approach in a way that I was not - but no...he was just scattering questions across all of the testimony without organization. There was no statement of the law, demonstration of clear facts, or insightful conclusion. There was merely a series of unorganized questions on matters that really didn't seem to address the core issues that were under suit.
The 'mean guy' had suggested that we through up a bunch of meaningless drivel in our opening statement, as a pro se litigant is likely to spend their time disproving the opening statement and miss the core legal issues. Well, our guy didn't do that - but instead he tackled the meaningless issues the complainant brought up - he fell for the trick when it wasn't even a trick. 9 hours of hearing over 30 minutes of issues. He even kinda screwed up interviewing our witness, with questions scattered all over as if designed to trip her up! Our witness!
We won the case before we entered the courtroom, but I've learned another lesson. It's good that I've humbled a bit and learn to listen for a time before I shoot off one of my snap judgments - but damnit a lot of the time I'm right. Sometimes slow is just slow.
"Life is like a box of chocolates." Yes, yes it is. If you're ignorant and fail to read the guide that comes printed with every box you'll be surprised - but for the rest of us the drill is a simple game of reading the rules and knowing exactly what comes next.
If you made it this far, you deserve this link on how to peel an orange that I stole: http://www.taiwankiss.com/board1/data/89162.html (full virus/cookie block recommended)
I get very frustrated talking to him, for he constantly interrupts - and it took me a long time to learn his mannerisms. He often seems to have stopped talking, but he's just collecting his thoughts. He...talks...slowly. Now, I've thought people that talked slowly were just slow before - and even when right I've found that there is something to be said for those that think through what they say before they share it. Me, I fire from the hip before the thought is complete. I have spent months just patiently waiting for him to come to his point or conclusion - usually in vain.
I thought perhaps it's just because he is from the country, and my urge to type-A interrupt him is just my urban upbringing. I have spent much time forcing myself to listen, to wait, thinking that the conclusion must be around the corner. I keep instinctively interrupting with where I think he is going, and it seems to shut him down. Over and over I've tried to give way for his style.
Yesterday I watched him perform a hearing. Granted, it was under very difficult circumstances - but good lord...it was painful. He knew what was going on, but he did a very poor job of presenting it. I kept trying to see his strategy, to see if the Judge was understanding his approach in a way that I was not - but no...he was just scattering questions across all of the testimony without organization. There was no statement of the law, demonstration of clear facts, or insightful conclusion. There was merely a series of unorganized questions on matters that really didn't seem to address the core issues that were under suit.
The 'mean guy' had suggested that we through up a bunch of meaningless drivel in our opening statement, as a pro se litigant is likely to spend their time disproving the opening statement and miss the core legal issues. Well, our guy didn't do that - but instead he tackled the meaningless issues the complainant brought up - he fell for the trick when it wasn't even a trick. 9 hours of hearing over 30 minutes of issues. He even kinda screwed up interviewing our witness, with questions scattered all over as if designed to trip her up! Our witness!
We won the case before we entered the courtroom, but I've learned another lesson. It's good that I've humbled a bit and learn to listen for a time before I shoot off one of my snap judgments - but damnit a lot of the time I'm right. Sometimes slow is just slow.
"Life is like a box of chocolates." Yes, yes it is. If you're ignorant and fail to read the guide that comes printed with every box you'll be surprised - but for the rest of us the drill is a simple game of reading the rules and knowing exactly what comes next.
If you made it this far, you deserve this link on how to peel an orange that I stole: http://www.taiwankiss.com/board1/data/89162.html (full virus/cookie block recommended)
