Circus de my body image
Jan. 7th, 2003 08:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzSo last night I watched the surprisingly boring circus de soleil (sp?) behind the scenes special on Bravo. Oh my god they lowered themselves on this one. They ignored the non-english speakers for the most part, they ignored the success stories, focusing instead on the jerk who failed out of the troop and ran home to mommy. He even looked a little like eminem - grow the fuck up. I wanted to know more about the origins of the group, and the creators, but was left with the tragic story of a brat.
I did have some revelations on the subject of body image, though. I'm nuts. I've only really seen 6-packs on magazine covers, although thanx to sports bras and 20 year old athletes in gold's gym I've seen really tone abs. Well, last night I'm oogling bodies of gymnasts and contortionists, and they don't have 6 packs. Hell, brat boy smoked! A smoking gymnast! I won't go down that path, but I'm thinking I really need to pick a goal that is more reasonable.
I wish there was an easy way to measure body fat %. My weight will fluctuate as I build muscle and lose it. I might get a fat % scale, but I hear they are notoriously inaccurate. I have to admit I simply can't use a mirror to tell what I look like. Body changes are gradual, and having no taste in the first place I'm simply blind when it comes to me. After lifting weights for 7 or so years on a regular basis, I was shocked when I realized I was somewhat muscular. I still see my body as skinny but my stomach as fat. Not bad, but I can't tell for instance, if someone else's body is anything like mine or vice versa.
The few times I've seen myself, really seen what I looked like, was in the mirror next to other people. I almost fell over when I found out I was more muscular than my old roommate GT, much more. His abs were and are to die for, but if you wanted meat I was your boy! This is also why I'm so insecure about hitting on people - I'm sorry but it's rare to have 'success' with someone much more attractive than yourself, and I just don't know where I fall in the spectrum. I should do a 'hot-or-not' site to find out what # I match up to, and then flirt with similarly scored...STOP STARING I'M EXAGGERATING OK!?
I'm just now having the headaches stop. Yes, I was getting headaches for a couple days so bad I was taking naps and pain-killers just to make it stop. I thought at first that I was suffering caffeine withdrawal, but I wasn't really haven't much caffeine and it was days after my last soda. The only other change in my life is the absence of processed sugar, and I'm beginning to think that had a much larger impact on me than I realized. So perhaps I'm sugar-free. It's alarming to think that perhaps I was addicted to a substance and didn't even recognize it. Now shut up and give me that damn truffle, I mean it!
Yes I know this is all self-centered and interesting to no one but me. Sorry!
Friends! How many of us have them,
Friends! Ones you can depend on (Whodini, late 80s?)
I rock - I can quote 'primal' rap songs!
...and the chicken tastes like wood...
Be careful what you wish for...
I was feeling a little drought on the social side of life, so I stopped being such a non-committal selfish recluse and started making plans with other people. Well, now I have next 5 nights of my life reserved. Eek! It would be so much more conveneint for all my friends to congregate like once or twice a week someplace where I could show up and then leave...oh woe is me. Happy mediums - not my strong point. (is that how you spell medium in that context?)
I did have some revelations on the subject of body image, though. I'm nuts. I've only really seen 6-packs on magazine covers, although thanx to sports bras and 20 year old athletes in gold's gym I've seen really tone abs. Well, last night I'm oogling bodies of gymnasts and contortionists, and they don't have 6 packs. Hell, brat boy smoked! A smoking gymnast! I won't go down that path, but I'm thinking I really need to pick a goal that is more reasonable.
I wish there was an easy way to measure body fat %. My weight will fluctuate as I build muscle and lose it. I might get a fat % scale, but I hear they are notoriously inaccurate. I have to admit I simply can't use a mirror to tell what I look like. Body changes are gradual, and having no taste in the first place I'm simply blind when it comes to me. After lifting weights for 7 or so years on a regular basis, I was shocked when I realized I was somewhat muscular. I still see my body as skinny but my stomach as fat. Not bad, but I can't tell for instance, if someone else's body is anything like mine or vice versa.
The few times I've seen myself, really seen what I looked like, was in the mirror next to other people. I almost fell over when I found out I was more muscular than my old roommate GT, much more. His abs were and are to die for, but if you wanted meat I was your boy! This is also why I'm so insecure about hitting on people - I'm sorry but it's rare to have 'success' with someone much more attractive than yourself, and I just don't know where I fall in the spectrum. I should do a 'hot-or-not' site to find out what # I match up to, and then flirt with similarly scored...STOP STARING I'M EXAGGERATING OK!?
I'm just now having the headaches stop. Yes, I was getting headaches for a couple days so bad I was taking naps and pain-killers just to make it stop. I thought at first that I was suffering caffeine withdrawal, but I wasn't really haven't much caffeine and it was days after my last soda. The only other change in my life is the absence of processed sugar, and I'm beginning to think that had a much larger impact on me than I realized. So perhaps I'm sugar-free. It's alarming to think that perhaps I was addicted to a substance and didn't even recognize it. Now shut up and give me that damn truffle, I mean it!
Yes I know this is all self-centered and interesting to no one but me. Sorry!
Friends! How many of us have them,
Friends! Ones you can depend on (Whodini, late 80s?)
I rock - I can quote 'primal' rap songs!
...and the chicken tastes like wood...
Be careful what you wish for...
I was feeling a little drought on the social side of life, so I stopped being such a non-committal selfish recluse and started making plans with other people. Well, now I have next 5 nights of my life reserved. Eek! It would be so much more conveneint for all my friends to congregate like once or twice a week someplace where I could show up and then leave...oh woe is me. Happy mediums - not my strong point. (is that how you spell medium in that context?)
