ID TEN T

I wear my brace not because I think I need to, but because I fear if I do not I will do dumb things. This fear is well founded. I "let myself" play pandora's purity ring radio station (as liked and x'd by me for some time now) and it ('s like Kris' Santory time station?) makes me spin.

Emotions in bottles.

I joked in fb that I wanted to dance, but...I couldn't not. I got all spinny in my living room. Or Kungfuey. In any case, I was right - I'm not responsible enough.

I feel like the brace is overkill, but I get little reminders that I'm not fixed. I wear it more to remind me not to do things I think I can do, just in case there really is a reason, and because I'm ashamed that I was ashamemd to wear it so I make myself wear it as a fuckyou to shame.

But I couldn't not dance - seems safe enough, so my top came flying off and I spun around the damn living room while looking at the snow I'm not in. I bounced into my bedroom with the mirror and caught myself booty to flooring - then again. Then I noticed my hip getting tired.

Sigh. So, one of me was right; I'm not responsible enough to dance. I tried to just wiggle a little, but like a drink it was seductive and I slipped. Normal rules don't apply to me - I'm too fucking stupid. I'm also not fixed -
NOT BEING IN PAIN DOES NOT MEAN I'M HEALTHY