(no subject)

I'm full of happy which makes for bad posts, but I have coffee in me and I feel like writing. The problems from a week ago are not gone, but they appear generally addressed and...my life is pretty good. In some ways I'm shocked. No, fuckme, I'm just shocked but with a smile.

Today is a holiday that does not suck. Be grateful for what you have, indulge and nondenominational give actual thought and thanks for it? Related: I should reach out to my family. Now I'm scared to because a relative who was in the area passed, and I suck for not having spent time with her and them before that happened.

My life is still...unclear, but I am happy. Confused, but happy.

I have a list of things to do today, but more than enough time to do them all, and a new-old video game. It's the perfect combination of things to do so I don't feel directionless with enough time to not feel overwhelmed.

No, words escape me. I'm warm inside.

(no subject)

Stupidly late last night I stopped by my house, since I risked navigating on my own on the way to a date and had not had time to make it there. Mostly no changes, and it's late Nov...it's been months. This time the teeny tiny change was...just odd. Orange expanding spray-foam had be sprayed in pretty much in every hole with plumbing or wiring in it, plus in all wood framing that was against the wall. I agreed to pay for a light layer of foam on all the front and back wall, but am unsure of why this touch-up is taking place.

Nothing. Fucking nothing has happened. I checked the permit in the window, and it says 11/18/14 "still no submitted revised plans" or something like that. Now that sounds like "contractor not doing his job" to me.

I also got a bid on the doors, and it's kinda lame. The prices of the doors are higher than the ones I picked from home depot as samples, and they're ugly & dull. I've put off responding in detail because who cares about the doors when I don't have walls on the house?

It's probably time to set up a walkthrough with Scott and start really asking questions.

This is costing me thousands a month. An unexpected cost is that I thought I might move in around Labor day or thereabouts, so I set up my taxes that way. Now as the end of the year approaches I have to blow 6-10k up front to do interim payments to the state of VA to avoid penalties, so I'll be waiting for about the same from DC while fronting the money to VA. I sold my alcoa stock, which was near a 3 year peak, to do this. I see my stock piles dwindling (literally).

(no subject)

For the abbreviated retail day, I DL 405 for 3 today.
Without a belt (only because I forgot my belt).

I am not displeased, even though after that I sort of fell apart. That's a PR (PB!) for me.

Now for foodnapvideogames and theoretically any of the work that I have not yet done or started. I do have a list. There it is, over there. Hello list. Hey list, did you know I pulled 405 for a triple? Yeah, I know, right?

No apologies

I'm stupidly happy, the kind of happy that won't last, the kind of happy that makes for bad writing. All the best stories are sad; it's endemic to that art.

I'm just fucking inarticulately happy. Sure nothing got done today, and I'm influenced by pandora feeding me ethereal musics along the lines of purity ring, but...it may not make for good writing, but why not share it anyway. This is how I feel right now.

It's a been a year, a 6 mos of transitions. Right now I'm so happy I'm (more) stupid. This exists, I exist, I have this right now illusory or no.