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All of this and nothing
Nov. 13th, 2014 07:13 pmHeadings to write later
No more beer for you fatty
Actually I felt like I was drinking too much too often. I was going out with multiple folks a week, and each outing involved drinking - but I couldn't drink much as in almost all cases I was driving. For some odd reason the end of the night felt right if I got that last beer I hadn't had out, at home, and topped off my nothing with video games. So, I'm happy with my not-washboard as it relates to lifting weights and eating - but beer? Also, raging alcoholics in your family anywhere, and is regular drinking alone considered problematic by some? So, mostly for the calories, I've sort of kicked beer-not-out-with-friends. Also, I'm fat.
Russian baby maker
Went to PT today which was unremarkable, except to remind me I'm a lizardian idiot. So this PT specialist, this girl, this woman...was so stupidly hot. I spent the entire stupid time just trying to focus on why I was there and not ... fawn. Every moment I wasn't trying to stuff this girl inside my mouth I was lying with every fiber of my being. I'm not even sure why - she was pretty, but just sort of a 5 side of dice in a world of plain - good, but shouldn't be traffic stopping. The body was good but modestly displayed. I mean she was sort of bordering on russian model, only short, but...I don't know what it was. Even her toe cleavage was pretty - stunning, but why? And why would I care?
Sucking less at running but doing it stupid
I didn't do much with the gym today - I did squat conventional, but I did get pain around 300 and at 345 I only did 3 reps and stopped as my hip pain became significant. We've demonstrated that I can lift through the pain, but we've also demonstrated that is idiotic and why I'm hurt today. Even stopping I had a seizing stabbing pain. So I switched to sumo and it wasn't much better so I just bailed on the lifts. With that, and with the long long long lunch that included PT, gym, and lunch, I worked until 5pm to make up my time (started at 6am). So although the sun was going down
(dude, all this leadup is dull and the thing you're leading up to isn't interesting either...yeah but nobody has to fucking read this)
I decided I should take myself out for a run - and I ran my 2-mile course. Observations: c) you get better at running fast...I kept a better pace the entire time, just pushing to the point I am breathing heavy through my mouth was a far more consistent and fast pace than just a few weeks ago, x) my hoodie sucks even for running in the cold 50 deg F weather, g) running in all black at night is not only stupid, it scares military guys, dog walkers, and children. I guess the point is I was whining that I sucked at running, and that's true, but after only a run or 2 a week for 3-4 weeks I suck substantially less than when I started. So I could conceivably keep a short run in my program without hurting lifting gains, and to theoretically be able to run 3-6 miles at a pace faster than an older man with a walker.
OKCupid
So I signed up for it and technically have used it. However I only messaged people to say things like I liked their profile but I wasn't interested in dating. No really, I did this, without really thinking it through - like anyone gives a shit about how much you like the worm they put on their hook if you're not a fish? Nobody complained but when I thought about it I felt unintentionally mean so I stopped. So on okcupid I'm most likely compatible with 35 year old jewish hippies from Columbia Heights who work for nonprofits who write LONG profiles about how many things they don't like (the profile makes it clear how unicorn special they feel they are, and the dealkiller lists are extensive if not explicit); notfit poly people who don't just sex oh no, my life is god first, and people who seem to have completely redefined 40 to include white hair. Curiously women both note that guys with shirtless pictures are deal-killers, while generally women put up multiple pictures for the purpose of showing how fucking outdoorsy they are. It seems all women who are looking for dates hike, run, bike, triathalon, and take pictures every bloody weekend. I mean yay I guess, but it just seems odd that _every_ woman peppers her mate-bait with "I like doing things outdoors" pictures.
Holy shit I could OWN OKC if I just put up pictures of myself watching hulu & netflix! That's seems to be what all my friends do - active or potatoey! I would corner the market! Well, unless I was watching it shirtless.
Facebook, journals self-centered delusions, hobbies
I'm writing here a lot more - is that good? I'm saying less things of substance, and I've slowed down with going out with someone every/every other night. My god I might lose a pound a week. I feel like there is a certain arrogance in writing here, in posting to fb and not reading (confession, but I just don't have time and the interface prevents chronological order to catch up properly). I feel good talking here, but it just seems like navel-gazing masturbatory descriptions of things I saw more than things I did. Doing is far more interesting than constantly reflecting. Talking to people about things, doing things, is far better than a constant spiral of self-analysis and observation, and why is my commentary more valuable than someone else's?
Endorphins, cold, tv
A little bit of exercise, some time, some sleep, and the grumpy went away. I think as it's cold out now, and dark at 5, there is less guilt for sitting at home doing nothing / watching tv. TV feels like a lie to the lonely when I could be outside with others but am alone with a screen; but when it's dark, the windows are closed so no passing conversations waft in, and inside is not-paid while outside is puffycoats or pain...I feel less loseresque.
No more beer for you fatty
Actually I felt like I was drinking too much too often. I was going out with multiple folks a week, and each outing involved drinking - but I couldn't drink much as in almost all cases I was driving. For some odd reason the end of the night felt right if I got that last beer I hadn't had out, at home, and topped off my nothing with video games. So, I'm happy with my not-washboard as it relates to lifting weights and eating - but beer? Also, raging alcoholics in your family anywhere, and is regular drinking alone considered problematic by some? So, mostly for the calories, I've sort of kicked beer-not-out-with-friends. Also, I'm fat.
Russian baby maker
Went to PT today which was unremarkable, except to remind me I'm a lizardian idiot. So this PT specialist, this girl, this woman...was so stupidly hot. I spent the entire stupid time just trying to focus on why I was there and not ... fawn. Every moment I wasn't trying to stuff this girl inside my mouth I was lying with every fiber of my being. I'm not even sure why - she was pretty, but just sort of a 5 side of dice in a world of plain - good, but shouldn't be traffic stopping. The body was good but modestly displayed. I mean she was sort of bordering on russian model, only short, but...I don't know what it was. Even her toe cleavage was pretty - stunning, but why? And why would I care?
Sucking less at running but doing it stupid
I didn't do much with the gym today - I did squat conventional, but I did get pain around 300 and at 345 I only did 3 reps and stopped as my hip pain became significant. We've demonstrated that I can lift through the pain, but we've also demonstrated that is idiotic and why I'm hurt today. Even stopping I had a seizing stabbing pain. So I switched to sumo and it wasn't much better so I just bailed on the lifts. With that, and with the long long long lunch that included PT, gym, and lunch, I worked until 5pm to make up my time (started at 6am). So although the sun was going down
(dude, all this leadup is dull and the thing you're leading up to isn't interesting either...yeah but nobody has to fucking read this)
I decided I should take myself out for a run - and I ran my 2-mile course. Observations: c) you get better at running fast...I kept a better pace the entire time, just pushing to the point I am breathing heavy through my mouth was a far more consistent and fast pace than just a few weeks ago, x) my hoodie sucks even for running in the cold 50 deg F weather, g) running in all black at night is not only stupid, it scares military guys, dog walkers, and children. I guess the point is I was whining that I sucked at running, and that's true, but after only a run or 2 a week for 3-4 weeks I suck substantially less than when I started. So I could conceivably keep a short run in my program without hurting lifting gains, and to theoretically be able to run 3-6 miles at a pace faster than an older man with a walker.
OKCupid
So I signed up for it and technically have used it. However I only messaged people to say things like I liked their profile but I wasn't interested in dating. No really, I did this, without really thinking it through - like anyone gives a shit about how much you like the worm they put on their hook if you're not a fish? Nobody complained but when I thought about it I felt unintentionally mean so I stopped. So on okcupid I'm most likely compatible with 35 year old jewish hippies from Columbia Heights who work for nonprofits who write LONG profiles about how many things they don't like (the profile makes it clear how unicorn special they feel they are, and the dealkiller lists are extensive if not explicit); notfit poly people who don't just sex oh no, my life is god first, and people who seem to have completely redefined 40 to include white hair. Curiously women both note that guys with shirtless pictures are deal-killers, while generally women put up multiple pictures for the purpose of showing how fucking outdoorsy they are. It seems all women who are looking for dates hike, run, bike, triathalon, and take pictures every bloody weekend. I mean yay I guess, but it just seems odd that _every_ woman peppers her mate-bait with "I like doing things outdoors" pictures.
Holy shit I could OWN OKC if I just put up pictures of myself watching hulu & netflix! That's seems to be what all my friends do - active or potatoey! I would corner the market! Well, unless I was watching it shirtless.
Facebook, journals self-centered delusions, hobbies
I'm writing here a lot more - is that good? I'm saying less things of substance, and I've slowed down with going out with someone every/every other night. My god I might lose a pound a week. I feel like there is a certain arrogance in writing here, in posting to fb and not reading (confession, but I just don't have time and the interface prevents chronological order to catch up properly). I feel good talking here, but it just seems like navel-gazing masturbatory descriptions of things I saw more than things I did. Doing is far more interesting than constantly reflecting. Talking to people about things, doing things, is far better than a constant spiral of self-analysis and observation, and why is my commentary more valuable than someone else's?
Endorphins, cold, tv
A little bit of exercise, some time, some sleep, and the grumpy went away. I think as it's cold out now, and dark at 5, there is less guilt for sitting at home doing nothing / watching tv. TV feels like a lie to the lonely when I could be outside with others but am alone with a screen; but when it's dark, the windows are closed so no passing conversations waft in, and inside is not-paid while outside is puffycoats or pain...I feel less loseresque.
