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Oct. 12th, 2014 07:33 amI am HURTING this morning. That sounds hung over, isn't. Or it is, but this is the part of the hangover based on not sleeping enough, not having enough water, and/or being social for 8 hours in a row.
I think I went on a date last night, but was it a date? Now ask me how it went and I genuinely don't know. I know it didn't suck, but I don't know how it is progressing, or not progressing, or will progress, or will not progress...and I'm not all butterflies so it's not some teenagey excitement. I'm getting used to the idea I am an emotional idiot. "We look good on paper." Well, the more we talk the more I think I like her, but I also might be scared of her a little.
That's not why I'm writing - I'm writing because last night after dropping her off, I went to my stupid club. I didn't want to go out, I had been with someone for 4 hours and 2 (3?) drinks, and wanted to sit at home alone with my stupid old video game...but I'm trying to be social so I forced myself out to the club. I went in the door, and somebody warned me "it was crowded, unusually." Great!
I walk in the door and the place is packed with people in red. RED. There are lots of guys in not-realistic crossdressing - little red dresses, strappy dresses, with sneakers. I cringed for having walked into a frat party, sigh. I walked around and hi'd the DJ, and old-school friend of mine (another reason I went) (and the other one, but I always see Phil). I bumped into a few of the 'reds' and they were all kind of over the top polite? Someone asked to pass me at the bar, with please, excuse, and thank you? Somebody told me they were a group called "women warriors" and they were bar hopping - would be gone in an hour.
Around this time I noticed a fair number of them were hot. Some were not, but in an unusual ratio there were some hot girls. The crossdressed men were probably dressed sleazier, but a fair number of them were kinda hot...some not completely pointlessly in red drag; now wasn't that curious. Sure, there was a LOT of dry-humping going on, but the more I looked the more not offensive at all they seemed. Then one was actually kind of obnoxious by coming over to me and a (shy) friend (who quickly ran away) and asking if this was normally a goth night; then apologizing that this was an annual even they did - and they were the Hashers.
Ah, that 'splained it. Hashers: a drinking club with a running problem. I have friends who hate them, and their city reputation is mixed as people have called the privileged and rude for making noise and drinking in public. Me, I love their cute tagline and am thrilled at the open and notorious athletic drinking motif.
I watched them while I stood arm in arm with a hot male friend of mine, and I did...DID notice that his muscular back, the small where his muscles pressed together, felt good in my hand; even knowing and talking about his pregnant wife (who is also super hot). Just when you think you're 100% straight, here I am noticing men again. Not with any oomph, but I was wondering if there was any of that left in me. Well, at least the concept hasn't been lost.
Perhaps part of my problem is it's too soon. Perhaps not.
Perhaps the rest is I'm an idiot who can't even tell how or what he feels anymore as he's so wonderfully disciplined and layered with forced healthy behaviors that he's emotionally retarded.
By the end of the night I was amused to see more goth/red interactions, more than one I witnessed of a "goth" running into their hasher buddies and both going "Oh, you're here!" and discovering another side of each other they didn't know they had in common.
Drinking cold coffee after sleeping in (I woke up and rolled over successfully, lovely!) and I have NOTHING to do today - glorious. I plan to visit my house, play my game, maybe shop? Maybe go running? I can do or not do what I want.
I think I went on a date last night, but was it a date? Now ask me how it went and I genuinely don't know. I know it didn't suck, but I don't know how it is progressing, or not progressing, or will progress, or will not progress...and I'm not all butterflies so it's not some teenagey excitement. I'm getting used to the idea I am an emotional idiot. "We look good on paper." Well, the more we talk the more I think I like her, but I also might be scared of her a little.
That's not why I'm writing - I'm writing because last night after dropping her off, I went to my stupid club. I didn't want to go out, I had been with someone for 4 hours and 2 (3?) drinks, and wanted to sit at home alone with my stupid old video game...but I'm trying to be social so I forced myself out to the club. I went in the door, and somebody warned me "it was crowded, unusually." Great!
I walk in the door and the place is packed with people in red. RED. There are lots of guys in not-realistic crossdressing - little red dresses, strappy dresses, with sneakers. I cringed for having walked into a frat party, sigh. I walked around and hi'd the DJ, and old-school friend of mine (another reason I went) (and the other one, but I always see Phil). I bumped into a few of the 'reds' and they were all kind of over the top polite? Someone asked to pass me at the bar, with please, excuse, and thank you? Somebody told me they were a group called "women warriors" and they were bar hopping - would be gone in an hour.
Around this time I noticed a fair number of them were hot. Some were not, but in an unusual ratio there were some hot girls. The crossdressed men were probably dressed sleazier, but a fair number of them were kinda hot...some not completely pointlessly in red drag; now wasn't that curious. Sure, there was a LOT of dry-humping going on, but the more I looked the more not offensive at all they seemed. Then one was actually kind of obnoxious by coming over to me and a (shy) friend (who quickly ran away) and asking if this was normally a goth night; then apologizing that this was an annual even they did - and they were the Hashers.
Ah, that 'splained it. Hashers: a drinking club with a running problem. I have friends who hate them, and their city reputation is mixed as people have called the privileged and rude for making noise and drinking in public. Me, I love their cute tagline and am thrilled at the open and notorious athletic drinking motif.
I watched them while I stood arm in arm with a hot male friend of mine, and I did...DID notice that his muscular back, the small where his muscles pressed together, felt good in my hand; even knowing and talking about his pregnant wife (who is also super hot). Just when you think you're 100% straight, here I am noticing men again. Not with any oomph, but I was wondering if there was any of that left in me. Well, at least the concept hasn't been lost.
Perhaps part of my problem is it's too soon. Perhaps not.
Perhaps the rest is I'm an idiot who can't even tell how or what he feels anymore as he's so wonderfully disciplined and layered with forced healthy behaviors that he's emotionally retarded.
By the end of the night I was amused to see more goth/red interactions, more than one I witnessed of a "goth" running into their hasher buddies and both going "Oh, you're here!" and discovering another side of each other they didn't know they had in common.
Drinking cold coffee after sleeping in (I woke up and rolled over successfully, lovely!) and I have NOTHING to do today - glorious. I plan to visit my house, play my game, maybe shop? Maybe go running? I can do or not do what I want.
