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Aug. 6th, 2014 02:19 pmOh shit, post travel and hearing depression just reared HUGE. Maybe that's why I had beer last night. I felt fine, FINE, yesterday and thought the beer and dumb food was just a little treat. Now I feel miles, miles, alone like I did not when I really was alone on the road.
The gym may erase this feeling.
Received coffee my crazy mother sent me. Her crazy is making me sad; her loneliness (my interpretation) is making me sad. When she's gone I'll miss her; I miss my dad. I take my family for granted but when they're not there I'll be that much more alone and never, ever, have that kind of connection again.
Scared to be alone but also very aware most of us will wind up alone. Facebook isn't friends.
The mood is bad enough to say I should drink in my home tonight, but having just read "S Street Rising" I'm more terrified of addiction than 24 hours ago.
Oh fuck my crazies are looming large.
The gym may erase this feeling.
Received coffee my crazy mother sent me. Her crazy is making me sad; her loneliness (my interpretation) is making me sad. When she's gone I'll miss her; I miss my dad. I take my family for granted but when they're not there I'll be that much more alone and never, ever, have that kind of connection again.
Scared to be alone but also very aware most of us will wind up alone. Facebook isn't friends.
The mood is bad enough to say I should drink in my home tonight, but having just read "S Street Rising" I'm more terrified of addiction than 24 hours ago.
Oh fuck my crazies are looming large.
