(no subject)

Holy cheese this hurts. This just hurts. Days ago I was lamenting my gym progress, now I'm lamenting the ability to sit upright enough to work on a laptop. I am really fucking sick now. Somehow flying across the country did not reduce my symptoms. On the plus side, I'm actually sick instead of fighting a weird chest cough with no other symptoms - this is regular sick with sinus pressure. I'm cough-wheezing like an old man though. I should buy some powder for my hair and hunch more to stay in character. Eh?

Life has become the LSAT - I know I can do all this stuff, but I don't have time. Honestly I'm falling apart from a whopping stressful 47 hours a week. That's all. It was like 55 hours. Big deal, but my health has utterly failed me.

I'm in Minneapolis sick as living hell; I mean this is bad. I'm dropping medicine to be able to breathe and function - but the consequence is the inability to think.

I used to want to broadcast where I was , as it made me feel connected socially. Now no matter where I go everyone is wired with sound, video, and status to feel connected without talking to anybody or making eye contact.

It's not quite meditation, but I do try to take moments walking, standing, anything where I am not bolstering my mood with music, drowning my thoughts with television, relying on the phone or internet to feel connected to the world, or like I need the world to care.

Really I'd just like to get on top of my work, be in the gym, and get through this insanity with my health - only my weary recreation-less mind to suffer.

And here I am in eljay. What is this I'm doing? I don't even know.