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Dec. 11th, 2012 08:06 amLots of things have changed in my mind - not sure what it means.
I think I've decided, or admitted I've decided, not to put up xmas lights in my condo windows. Big deal? Just a few years ago I invested dozens of hours and dollars (hey I'm lazy and cheap) collecting c-7 "twinkle bulbs" which I hung in the windows. As much as I conserve energy, I blow it out the window, literally, when I display the airline-distracting lights. This year I even brought in some removable stick-on hangers to make it easier.
But I don't feel like it. I don't care if strangers see lights in the window of someone they don't know. I don't feel like bothering to spread whatever random impression strangers might have. It doesn't make me feel good to reach out anymore. I'm not embarrassed that I did, or annoyed that others do...I just sort of don't care.
I also don't feel like coffee in the coffee shack rather than my home. I went to a club this past week, stayed to midnight because I felt like I should. I just seem to have lost my people-need, at least for a bit. Why? Have I realized, at an emotional level, such connections are spurious at best? Am I less crazy? Is it "haveagirlfrienditis?" Maybe my hormones ran out and with them my emotions, good and bad, died? I'm torn between what-does-it-mean and meh. Were it not for coffee and tomorrow's hearing anxiety I wouldn't have written this.
Across the street in the luxury high-rise is easily the tackiest 1-tree light monstrosity I've seen. It's an all white "tree," (tree or just lights is unclear from a distance at night) which has fast blinking patterns of lights spinning around like Las Vegas on monochrome crack. Perhaps they worship Satan and want to destroy xmas with their awful display, stripping the flocks of any remnants of their dying faith.
I did hang my 1-charlie-brown-ball again this year in my flaccid evergreen.
I think I've decided, or admitted I've decided, not to put up xmas lights in my condo windows. Big deal? Just a few years ago I invested dozens of hours and dollars (hey I'm lazy and cheap) collecting c-7 "twinkle bulbs" which I hung in the windows. As much as I conserve energy, I blow it out the window, literally, when I display the airline-distracting lights. This year I even brought in some removable stick-on hangers to make it easier.
But I don't feel like it. I don't care if strangers see lights in the window of someone they don't know. I don't feel like bothering to spread whatever random impression strangers might have. It doesn't make me feel good to reach out anymore. I'm not embarrassed that I did, or annoyed that others do...I just sort of don't care.
I also don't feel like coffee in the coffee shack rather than my home. I went to a club this past week, stayed to midnight because I felt like I should. I just seem to have lost my people-need, at least for a bit. Why? Have I realized, at an emotional level, such connections are spurious at best? Am I less crazy? Is it "haveagirlfrienditis?" Maybe my hormones ran out and with them my emotions, good and bad, died? I'm torn between what-does-it-mean and meh. Were it not for coffee and tomorrow's hearing anxiety I wouldn't have written this.
Across the street in the luxury high-rise is easily the tackiest 1-tree light monstrosity I've seen. It's an all white "tree," (tree or just lights is unclear from a distance at night) which has fast blinking patterns of lights spinning around like Las Vegas on monochrome crack. Perhaps they worship Satan and want to destroy xmas with their awful display, stripping the flocks of any remnants of their dying faith.
I did hang my 1-charlie-brown-ball again this year in my flaccid evergreen.
