Fuck me or I'll do it myself!

Bullwinkle 2nd title: Nothing says love like the backside of a hairbrush

This morning as I sped to work 20 mph faster than average, I had to hold tight as I passed both a DC cop and the 295 speed trap camera, borderline late to work because when I woke up early it struck me as a good idea to boot both computers and do a den run in hell dif for diablo.

I need to get the hell out of here.

I am not socializing, and it's ok. My friends have been so for over a decade on average, and I can coast. I'm not sure why Janna still talks to me. When things are going well, I let them rest. I'm lazy, lazy in the gym, lazy with my diet, lazy with my friends, lazy with family, lazy cleaning the house, lazy with investments...it's only when things become a crisis that I snap into action and border on competent. For things like work and the gym, I trick myself into getting things done by making charts and lists that dictate inarguable schedules of action.

I should leave.

I should take that position in CA - although it represents a step backwards career-wise, and it's a way to coast in my work life compared to the challenges I have today, socially it would force me to be a better friend. It would get me out of the house. Sure I hang out with some friends, but more often than not I default to "one more baal run," watching BBC, or some book I already read - nothing gets done. I go nowhere.

If I had kids at 20-25 and they were now adult-ish, I'd be wondering "what next?" This should discount my idea today that I want kids. Really I can discount my every urge by isolating the source of it, from culture to laziness on my part.

If I kicked myself out of this area I wouldn't be able to coast socially anymore. It would hurt more to be alone, and without EFFORT I'd be alone more. I'd be making another chart, a schedule, for as isolation bugged me I'd have little choice but to go out, to engage, to do more things - anything, which might result in more social contact. With more contact and experience comes more learning, and more healthy habits (we hope). I would have tricked myself into a situation where growth was the only option. Hell, even if I failed my friends-for-over-ten-years would still be there if I ran home with my tail between my legs.

I should probably tag my entries. This one would be "actionless coffee rant"

(no subject)

Oh - speaking of headlights, I know many of you were dying of anticipation:

I passed VA inspection.

The grumpy inspector had no words, but the guy at the shop counter talked to me about the stuff I used. He initially said most anything worked to pass inspection, but the real issue was whether it would protect the plastic later too. He said a distinguishing feature was a sealant after the polish was done. It so happens the one drawback to the $10 Turtle stuff is that it has a one-use-only sealant at the end of the project. I probably have enough polish goo to do another car, but then there wouldn't be the seal at the end.

The guy said if it didn't last, he recommended the 3m product as the best on the market. This is of course the stuff I went to buy in the first place.

I guess watch this space to see if I pass inspection next year.

Now, to replace the toilet...and maybe build a log cabin!