(no subject)

Age? I looked at someone else who reminded me of me in terms of age and physical health (he was fitter / more muscley than I) and Patrick handed me a picture which I stared at this AM. It's funny, I am very happy with me and with me at this age - but I'm not 20. One look at my face - I'm not 20. At all. I remember being 20, 25, and 30 and fearing the lines in the corners of my eyes - but the real show is under my eyes and on the sides of my face. No problem - I think I'd be annoyed if I had gone through my life with no battle scars, but it makes me think. I wasn't happy at 16 through 20 and it seems like most people aren't, yet this is the age range that our media seems stuck on. Beauty is...adult enough to be legally fuckable, but not showing any signs of maturity?

By my math at 20-25 you're barely functional - only starting on the path of supporting yourself (this may well be 30 in this economy, post-grad-degree). Then many people make other lives, which move out in about 20 years - so half you life you learn how to live, then you spend the next rotation of 20 years making another person as someone did you. Then...you spend another 2-3 20 year rotations before you die. Why is it we seem to fixated on those first 20-40 years? What about the other HALF of your life? Funny.

I'm putting off talking about and deciding what to do about my elbow. Short version is that surgery doesn't return you to 100%.