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Hello navel
May. 6th, 2010 10:59 amI'm running out of staycation and I've relearned some minor things:
Kind of like when law school was on - if I do or not-do things, it's not necessarily because of how much spare time I actually have. It's whether I want to, or choose to, do it. This may sound silly but I've noticed I don't get much done no matter how much time I have. If I have lots of spare time, I just fill it up with more games, naps, casual hang out time (my fav), even reading - but not much:
work, cleaning, organizing, updating electronic thingys, music searching, buying stuff, repairing stuff...I mean if I get bored enough I might do it, but mostly I just don't want to so I don't.
How I feel is very much based on expectations or bizarre interpretations of the world around me. Relaxed, bored, ashamed I have no one to do things with or things to do, thrilled to have some down time...this would all represent down time depending on how I happen to think about it at the time. It's like if you put your hand under water and there is a large temperature difference...you can't tell at first if it is hot or cold.
I stare at that guy in the NYC bombing thing. Did his life fall apart and he chose to lash out because of it? How different am I than him - just different influences? Today the technology is available for anyone to be able to kill dozens if they're willing to give up their life to do it, heck even in China people have repeatedly invaded preschools to kill (or maim) bunches of kids with only clubs or blades. Is this a negative effect of the internet or reality tv - where everyone thinks their feelings are so important that they refuse to suffer alone? I mean have there always been outliers like this? Is it unusual to have so many of those types of killings and acts, or is the news of such just more readily available?
Do people remember Kent State?
Kind of like when law school was on - if I do or not-do things, it's not necessarily because of how much spare time I actually have. It's whether I want to, or choose to, do it. This may sound silly but I've noticed I don't get much done no matter how much time I have. If I have lots of spare time, I just fill it up with more games, naps, casual hang out time (my fav), even reading - but not much:
work, cleaning, organizing, updating electronic thingys, music searching, buying stuff, repairing stuff...I mean if I get bored enough I might do it, but mostly I just don't want to so I don't.
How I feel is very much based on expectations or bizarre interpretations of the world around me. Relaxed, bored, ashamed I have no one to do things with or things to do, thrilled to have some down time...this would all represent down time depending on how I happen to think about it at the time. It's like if you put your hand under water and there is a large temperature difference...you can't tell at first if it is hot or cold.
I stare at that guy in the NYC bombing thing. Did his life fall apart and he chose to lash out because of it? How different am I than him - just different influences? Today the technology is available for anyone to be able to kill dozens if they're willing to give up their life to do it, heck even in China people have repeatedly invaded preschools to kill (or maim) bunches of kids with only clubs or blades. Is this a negative effect of the internet or reality tv - where everyone thinks their feelings are so important that they refuse to suffer alone? I mean have there always been outliers like this? Is it unusual to have so many of those types of killings and acts, or is the news of such just more readily available?
Do people remember Kent State?
