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Vicarious in Java Shack
Jul. 3rd, 2009 08:26 amThis AM after coffee liquor last night coffee proper was a physical need, so I hit java shack. The bikers (bicycles, that is, very fucking fit people in matching pastel colors) are all talking loudly. One is "complaining" about some 19 year olds that aren't growing up - wondering, as he sips coffee to mix with his endorphins, how the kid sucks down 3 mugs of red bull before 11am.
I overhear part of a conversation:
"How did it go? He got to first base, 2nd base, 3rd base, and a home run...then into the dugout!"
"Never into the dugout on a first date!"
"Doping was making the sport great - testing is killing it."
Smokers really suck. Not because they smoke, and not because of smoke, no it's because unlike coffee drinkers, beer drinkers, and bread eaters, they have failed to get snobby about smoking. The jiffy mart shopper smokes the same skanky marlboro cigs as skanky Paris Hilton. Beer drinkers moved from miller champagne to used motor oil from wood barrels from hops grown in their back yard. Coffee people are sucking down juice brewed from berries pooped out by special wombat diets.
Hmm. Perhaps smokers aren't so bad after all.
But it's really time they grew up and got snobby about their cigarettes. They don't know what is in them, but suspect embalming fluid. They keep buying the champagne of cigarettes. It's time they got particular - rolled their own LEGAL smokes. Talked about the tastes. It's time for the starbucks of smokers to spread nation-wide, for special blends of fruity and smokey herbs to waft from the fingertips, noses, and mouths of everyone from brokers to ball players. Smoking is taxed, is loathed and lamented, and fouls the gutters of the streets nationwide. It's time smokers woke up and embraced the snobbery that makes drug addiction fashionable, marketable, and politically powerful. Go from habit to artistic pursuit.
I'm not just another non-smoker blowing up your ass. Get snobby.
I overhear part of a conversation:
"How did it go? He got to first base, 2nd base, 3rd base, and a home run...then into the dugout!"
"Never into the dugout on a first date!"
"Doping was making the sport great - testing is killing it."
Smokers really suck. Not because they smoke, and not because of smoke, no it's because unlike coffee drinkers, beer drinkers, and bread eaters, they have failed to get snobby about smoking. The jiffy mart shopper smokes the same skanky marlboro cigs as skanky Paris Hilton. Beer drinkers moved from miller champagne to used motor oil from wood barrels from hops grown in their back yard. Coffee people are sucking down juice brewed from berries pooped out by special wombat diets.
Hmm. Perhaps smokers aren't so bad after all.
But it's really time they grew up and got snobby about their cigarettes. They don't know what is in them, but suspect embalming fluid. They keep buying the champagne of cigarettes. It's time they got particular - rolled their own LEGAL smokes. Talked about the tastes. It's time for the starbucks of smokers to spread nation-wide, for special blends of fruity and smokey herbs to waft from the fingertips, noses, and mouths of everyone from brokers to ball players. Smoking is taxed, is loathed and lamented, and fouls the gutters of the streets nationwide. It's time smokers woke up and embraced the snobbery that makes drug addiction fashionable, marketable, and politically powerful. Go from habit to artistic pursuit.
I'm not just another non-smoker blowing up your ass. Get snobby.
