Looking at my personal aquarium

I'm skipping some major work posts not out of career concern or professionalism, but um...

I talked to an old crush today - who, by the time they crushed on me, I was no longer interested in (so I can hardly blame anyone else). They were so very broken - I listened to them for over 20, maybe 30 minutes. I tried to help, but what they really wanted was venting. I listened. What they needed was different - I tried to give them both, but I don't think they were ready for answers. I hope I'm not, ever again, that bad. She's a sweet sweet girl.

Tonight despite all efforts to the contrary I talked with verygoodfriends about history. I admit I want to, try not to, but when the environment is friendly it is a place I want to close. History and present in mind I walked into my old place, which looks and smells like a new place. I I walked from room to room. So many memories. And I couldn't feel one of them. Each one, as quick as the flood of memories came forth came the reality that beat those hopes down. So many feelings, so many failures, so much personal pain, so many pathetic subsequent realities. I'm not a live for the today person, live for the dream itself. I'm romantic enough to seek a better reality, but I can't give life to these dead memories. The rooms, each one of them, were empty.