(no subject)

I know I've been really involved with dance a lot lately. Besides giving a lot of my friends bellydance lessons, I have been working with on a piece in which I really dug deep emotionally. We all know I have the technical skills, but my dance was not reaching as really deep emotionally as it could. As a project to pull out more from deep inside into my performance, I was working with a couple of choreographers who put together a really intricate piece to the tune of Michael Jackson's "Man in the mirror." The piece was technically challenging, but the larger challenge was really taking my coming of age story and drawing it out into my dance. You started in turmoil, but the first look you give is to the mirror - looking at yourself. Really looking at yourself. Then facing your struggles in dance and showing the audience that raw side of yourself. I wasn't the only one who cried during rehearsal. Well, after all this time, last night was my chance to do this thing. When I got on stage, I knew I was going to show them all a side of myself they had never seen. I pulled out my personal struggles and expressed them through the synchronized and choreographed predetermined dance moves at the same time as my partners in a way that I never had before. When I was done, I was raw - but I knew I had put a piece of myself out into my dance that would stay with my art forever.

Lord of the dance aside, having gym troubles. Last night was one of my shittiest workouts ever. I scaled back a couple weights, but ... I've had rotating injuries. My back seized up last week after my "manageable" 275 deadlifts, keeping me out of the gym for a week. When my lower back recovered, a shoulder tightened up in a way that hurt whenever I took a deep breath. My elbow was also acting like a tennis elbow. I got sick of waiting for that so I returned to the gym using a hand wrap to cover my elbow. The wrap hurt my workout more than I expected, but worst of all my OTHER shoulder got mad at me, probably as it was engaged oddly to work around my damaged elbow. By the end of my workout, I had pulled something in my neck which is still, heat and ice later, screaming this morning. While I was having my worst trouble, a big (but not really big looking) dood beside me was doing sets of squatting over 400lbs.

Was called by habitat and interviewed, should know in the next few days if I get in the 7/19-8/1 trip.

At work, you know if I could just drop any pride I have, it's doable. Sure she's a stark raving bitch, sure ... it's not clear if she's building a paper trail to take an action against me (what she is doing could easily be used as a performance improvement plan for removal), honestly doesn't know the difference between her use of synonyms and what is a substantive change (unlikely), or honestly thinks she's teaching me...or is just a twat. I need to turn off my sensibilities and pride and just do this her way for a few more weeks...OR grow a pair and tell her to fuck herself.