(no subject)

I'm going to get mucus colored pants so you can't tell where I wipe it.

Dad is back in a hospital again, rather than a rehab center, as they try to stabilize his condition. Again. Too much co2 in his blood, and something about hemoglobin. Call it a sine wave or a yo-yo, the result is the same - this one again off again life that is never actually living. I've heard of people asking not to reveal that they are sick, dying, or in the hospital. I can understand that wish - I can also understand how it hurts people that are not informed at the time of tragedy. But of all the memories I have of my dad, lately they are all of sick-dad in the hospital. Sights, smells, struggles - they're not good. He's not the same person I've known. It makes me think of how I acted after being trapped upside-down in a car wreck - the way I acted was not me - not the me I know. When your life is in danger fear and pain bring the base to the surface. I have all these memories of...what? I respect his wishes, and if someone chooses not to be seen in their sickenss or death throes I respect that too. There are no rulebooks for this.

I wake up to the news that some football guy is dead, yesterday a rock star died - that's sad I guess, but I never met or knew about the football guy and never met or really followed the rock guy. Strangers die every day in Iraq, every day in SE DC - why is this football player so important? His issue is all over every news station. It's strange the things people choose to care about. I dig the football guy story though - he came out from bed with his fiance with a machete to confront an intruder. That's MS13 action. Still - I never met him. Why would he matter to me? Why do all these people care?