(no subject)

Lessons learned from the bar exam:
Do not name your children with names that start with P - they will be hurt and killed.
Do not name your children with names that start with D - they will hurt and kill people.
Don't let your kids grow up to be lawyers - they'll be caught in ethical conflicts.
Don't let your children do politics or theatre - they'll be defamed in the media.
If you have kids, make a simple will. Do not impose any conditions or terms on your gifts.
Don't try to bargain or condition property for your kids' help in your ailing years.
Never get more than one mortgage on property, and only buy property free of pre-existing debt.
When buying property, pay whatever it takes for a full title search with insurance and get general warranty deeds.
Nothing oral ever happened. If you think it did, you're confused.
Cars are deadly. Drinking is deadly. Together they result in death 100% of the time.
Electricity can and will kill you, possibly while burning down your house. If you survive, check to see if any wood is charred (ignore blistered paint).
Congress can do whatever the hell it wants, but it's up to you to figure out why.
You probably lack ripeness or standing to raise an action, but won't think of it before figuring out the basis for your claim.
Merchants and regular folks constantly make ambiguous offers, revoke them, accept dead offers, and reject lives ones...without knowing it.
Rewards for returning lost pets are just tricks.
The safer and tamer the animal, the more it will cost you.
If you ask a friend to care for a pet your family will sue your corpse.
Every nonprofit is a state-funded religious Parthenon, unless it looks like it is.
No good deed goes unpunished, but the samaratin won't be the only one to suffer.
Everything said over a fence is a lie.
If you hate them they're innocent and the guilty make you cry.
Mergers make sense, but attempts do not.
Get up, get get get down. A war-rant is a joke in your town.
Your spouse won't help you, neither will your character.
Evidence that proves the truth about witnesses and the things they say is never allowed in court.
That dude is an expert layperson. You have no idea how he forms his opinions.
No offers are firm.
A promised condition is probably unfulfilled.
Secretly conveying riparians don't touch the land with permission.
If it looks like a fixture it isn't and vice versa.
The courts are full of negligent entrustment and defamation suits.
Every dangerous product is sold through a merchant, then stolen, and found by a child who uses it in a strange way before someone tries to save them from danger, killing them in the process.
All forms of land are deathtraps unless someone gets killed.
You can't cause emotional distress intentionally.
You probably won't compare your contribution, but if you do it'll be negligently.