I hate you weak-minded feeble-bodied people. I hope I'm not one of you.

This morning as I was getting ouf of my car, I watched a woman get out of her land rover, and thought about how each tiny selfish step by each small-minded and weak-bodied creature is destroying ability of life to exist on the planet. She takes out her tiny bag on wheels and rolls into the building. Each person saves the tiniest effort in their daily routine, driving a huge car because they're scared of the feeling they get in a small one, throwing things out the window so they don't clutter or stink up the car, never recycling a thing, buying "convenient" single serve items, leaving on tvs-lights-applicances for the warm feeling in their tummy that it gives to return 3 days later and hear sound from an empty room...sometimes I wish there was a hell.

I try to let that feeling roll off my shoulders this AM, knowing it's just angst to worry about things I cannot change, when my coworker approaches me for help with her blackberry. She asks why it is not working properly. I point out that she's been jamming the thing in the holster backwards by force, and once I get it unjammed (noting that you don't force anything mechanical) I observe that she's probably also wondered why the battery doesn't last long. She, true to her style, blames someone else. She claims when she was given the thing, it was in there backwards. The message given "It's not my fault," as though she's some passive victim to the idiocy around her. Can you imagine not realizing for over a month that your blackberry is in the holster backwards? What fucking manual do you need to realize the items don't fit together? Would this woman notice she had her vibrator in backwards! I mention she should adapt, and she says "Oh, you'll see when you get to be my age." I note I'm almost fucking 40, and I've seen plenty of people in their white-haired years both in the gym and working on computers. She claims the world is different, that I won't want to work out, adapt, or change after 40. She should know better - she's an intelligent attorney in the military, so she's seen plenty of fit and mentally able people in their Senior years.

I've heard this before. Everyone who has stopped trying, who gives into entropy or atrophy, has some excuse to explain how it's not their fault. At least some part of them recognizes that it is wrong, otherwise they wouldn't bother to expend energy denying responsibility for their actions. I pointed out that before I was 30 everyone told me "It all changes at 30." What a load - I'm smarter, more adaptable, and in far better shape than I was at 20 or 30. After I'm what...60...people will just write me off as a freak - anything, anything, to avoid being compared, to avoid considering the possibility that they have the power to do what I do and more. When I was 20 I saw an old white-haired man kicking ass in the gym and realized that could be me. I feared 30 at 20, but when I saw success at 70 or more, I realized I could prevent what I feared. It can be done, and if I choose not to do it then that's the choice I make. I will not blame my choice on factors "beyond my control."

The whole world goes to hell because of these people, but at least they go down with it.

(no subject)

I just explained for the 20th time to my female coworker that she has to contact IT and have them change the phone listing to stop her calls from going to my desk. She kept arguing with me, trying to show that she could change it herself (No, that's in contacts - like a phone book. It's not in outlook, here, go to email...no that's contacts again, go back to email. No, that's still part of contacts. There, mail. Good. Now right click - see how my number still comes up?) She kept arguing that "it should be done" and how stupid it was that she didn't get her old number, how she'd have to get new cards printed up (I don't have any cards, and we don't pay to get them done...) and she started having tears form in her eyes. She was about to break down because she was so upset that something wasn't done for her, and she might have to spend 30 seconds to 5 minutes figuring out who to send a 1-line email to so they would change her number. I finally gave up and told her that no one did anything for her, there was no system, that the only way it would change would be if she would take the affirmative act she is required to take. Telling me why she thought that was wrong did nothing. She'll probably hate me for another week.

In other news - more quotes from my book:
You're a good person. You've got a good heart and a good soul-
And that's what gets me into trouble every time. I care about other people too much.
That's your big lie. We all live by lies. Some big ones. Some small ones. That's yours, and it's a whopper.
I don't care about-I don't care-
No, you don't. Because if you did, you'd give people the room they need to lead their own lives, and you'd stop believing that everything they did revolved around you.
That's not true.
Your ex-wife did what she did because of her, not because of you. She did not go around trying to figure out ways to louse up your life, no matter how it felt. Do you think she's any happier with your boss? She's doomed. She'll live the same way with the same pains and conflicts all her life. The only difference is that your boss realizes that it's her problem, not his, and she knows that he's aware of that, so they get along okay, not great, but okay. They get out of each other what's there to get and don't drive each other crazy trying to get what isn't there and won't ever be.

Your enemy was a crazy man. He did what he did because he was moderately insane. You could have been Chiang Kaishek, and if he decided you'd taken his wife from him, he would have done exactly what he did. It had nothing to do with you. To a lesser extent, the same thing is true with your gay friend. He did what he did because of himself, not because of you. Your new wife did what she did because of herself. She didn't think about how it might affect you. She was trying to stay alive. She married you because of how she felt about you, not how you felt about her. She is there with you now because of herself, what she thinks she can get for herself. My recommendation is that you do the same, because I believe there's a lot there for you to take, if you want it. The world does not revolve around you, and it's time that someone's said that to you straight out.