(no subject)

So it's summer, and I have no time. I spent all my time in school wishing I had time to spend with my friends, now I'm more booked than when I had school. Tonight I MUST hit the gym, then class, then I'm probably going to be irresponsible and hit alchemy for it and the opposite sex. Friday is dollyhousey, and I'll probably need sleep and to do some homework before that. Saturday I need to do more homework, hit the gym, and then go to a farewell party for a guy in my boxing class. Sunday I'll do the gym, any leftover homework, and probably hike/food/movie. Ok that's with a friend, and I'll see friends at the other events, but I'm really sucking for scheduling time for friends.

I think I once did the gym for attention, to look good so more people would pick me up on their radar. Now the gym has taken the place of the people I once sought to attract. Weird but healthy I suppose. When I hit my goals I lightened up on my diet and workout just a little, and the body fat started climbing right away. Oh well, no cookies quite yet.

(no subject)

Today in the gym, for the first time that I can remember, I got stuck under the bar. I never use a spotter because I know my own fucking abilities. I have moved from 3 sets of 10 at 135 to trying to reach the same reps with 155. Goal is simply to press 225 once. Today I nailed it somehow, everything came together and I was strong as hell. I got the bar up 9 times and still had a little juice even though that 9th one took a slow push. I refused - I was too close to motherfucking 10 to quit now. I came down, got half way up and stalled - but didn't stop. I struggled for what seemed like minutes but I was wrong...it wasn't going anywhere but down. "A little help here?" to a really big guy saved me, but I'm so pissed. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed, but ... pissed. Next time. Next time that weight is my bitch.

I got blown off in an email today - neat.

00. Think of the first word that comes to mind when you think of me.
01. Run a google image search on that word.
02. Put a gun to your temple and pull the trigger.