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This morning I was on the metro when that Asian guy got on with his hymn book. I heard someone say “Excuse me everybody” which is never a good sign, and then the singing started. I immediately turned in my seat and said “Would you shut the hell up?” but he didn’t flinch. It seemed everyone else flinched – expecting a confrontation, but none occurred. I was already feeling slightly under the weather so I just tried to sleep though this abuse. I quickly noticed his singing wasn’t that bad, and the low monotonous tone was pretty easy to doze to. So doze I did.
I must have nodded off, for soon I found myself waking to the feeling of an odd twitching in my abdomen. This twitching rapidly got worse, to the point I started trying to figure out how I could off the train without anyone noticing my condition. This was unfortunately the long stretch between foggy bottom and rosslyn, so I was really nervous. The feeling was much worse now, to the point I imagined I could feel something crawling through my very intestines. At the same time I started to feel a horrible stinging sensation in my um, groin. Somehow through what was rapidly becoming a world of pain, the singing still continued to fill my ears.
The twisting continued up through my chest, pausing it seemed to give my heart an extra squeeze. I was coughing, quietly though because I could barely breathe. I could no longer see a thing on the train – all I knew was the intense pain that traveled through so many parts of my body. About this time I felt intense waves of nausea. This feeling quickly overwhelmed me, and I half-leaned half-fell into the isle as breakfast escaped my jaws. I was hovering above the floor, barely able to stay aloft on my hand and elbow. I felt something entering my throat, preventing me from breathing at all. I fell sideways and suddenly discovered a new realm of pain springing from my penis. While something ungodly pushed it’s way through my mouth, all I could do was wish the feeling of a thousand needles would disappear from my groin.
The pain actually did subside, and I noticed I was still not breathing. Something long and white was protruding from my mouth, something that looked suspiciously like a tapeworm. It slithered out and I gasped for air, the awful taste of bile still in my mouth and throat. I felt an odd sensation below, and something sharp finished slithering out of me and ran down my leg. I never saw it, but I saw the tapeworm like thing move under a seat out of sight. Strangely enough, no one else seemed to be looking.
As this evil ran from the body it once occupied, I heard the singing again, this time realizing it was as glorious as the angels from whence it came. I felt the spirit of our LORD JESUS fill my body, and realized how SWEET LORD JESUS had been so sorely missed. I wondered how many years of pain had been lost through the absence of hiibu contactu foola bumradah ooklong kim chi boc choi MY LORD JESUS CHRIST in my flesh. At the same time I finally knew joy again – the joy of the HOLY SPIRIT in my heart and soul, never again to be lost.
So I want to koong topu faadah wadsamattayu reach out to the rest of you heathens and pray foong doc moo shi vegable kaal daal miso that you may find such a kind angel in your travels. I tried to thank mine, but all I caught was a quick glimpse of a modest smile as he left the car and walked across the platform. Now I think the only way I can kaalo fack boomwadda oompa chacka thank him and the HOLY SPIRIT is to work in their servitude, trying to bring hoknoi lochnar meddabongwatta more of you into this glorious light.
GOD BLESS
I must have nodded off, for soon I found myself waking to the feeling of an odd twitching in my abdomen. This twitching rapidly got worse, to the point I started trying to figure out how I could off the train without anyone noticing my condition. This was unfortunately the long stretch between foggy bottom and rosslyn, so I was really nervous. The feeling was much worse now, to the point I imagined I could feel something crawling through my very intestines. At the same time I started to feel a horrible stinging sensation in my um, groin. Somehow through what was rapidly becoming a world of pain, the singing still continued to fill my ears.
The twisting continued up through my chest, pausing it seemed to give my heart an extra squeeze. I was coughing, quietly though because I could barely breathe. I could no longer see a thing on the train – all I knew was the intense pain that traveled through so many parts of my body. About this time I felt intense waves of nausea. This feeling quickly overwhelmed me, and I half-leaned half-fell into the isle as breakfast escaped my jaws. I was hovering above the floor, barely able to stay aloft on my hand and elbow. I felt something entering my throat, preventing me from breathing at all. I fell sideways and suddenly discovered a new realm of pain springing from my penis. While something ungodly pushed it’s way through my mouth, all I could do was wish the feeling of a thousand needles would disappear from my groin.
The pain actually did subside, and I noticed I was still not breathing. Something long and white was protruding from my mouth, something that looked suspiciously like a tapeworm. It slithered out and I gasped for air, the awful taste of bile still in my mouth and throat. I felt an odd sensation below, and something sharp finished slithering out of me and ran down my leg. I never saw it, but I saw the tapeworm like thing move under a seat out of sight. Strangely enough, no one else seemed to be looking.
As this evil ran from the body it once occupied, I heard the singing again, this time realizing it was as glorious as the angels from whence it came. I felt the spirit of our LORD JESUS fill my body, and realized how SWEET LORD JESUS had been so sorely missed. I wondered how many years of pain had been lost through the absence of hiibu contactu foola bumradah ooklong kim chi boc choi MY LORD JESUS CHRIST in my flesh. At the same time I finally knew joy again – the joy of the HOLY SPIRIT in my heart and soul, never again to be lost.
So I want to koong topu faadah wadsamattayu reach out to the rest of you heathens and pray foong doc moo shi vegable kaal daal miso that you may find such a kind angel in your travels. I tried to thank mine, but all I caught was a quick glimpse of a modest smile as he left the car and walked across the platform. Now I think the only way I can kaalo fack boomwadda oompa chacka thank him and the HOLY SPIRIT is to work in their servitude, trying to bring hoknoi lochnar meddabongwatta more of you into this glorious light.
GOD BLESS
