vicarz | (no subject)

A blurb before I go to not a real workout:
I got an MRI and went to the ortho, who disagreed that it showed symmetrical brain cancer, but noted I have the start of arthritis in my heck and this is normal for people my age. Another glimpse into not only am I going to die, but in a measurable time, and with predictable ranges of impediment and suffering. Then we get to the fact my alleged nerve pinch has stripped 1/3 to 2/3 of all my lifts except squat, and I may not recover, or if I do it may take months or years. He did find that besides some missing/decaying fluid around the spine, which he says is normal, I have a very restricted passage for nerves to the arms - which would explain the pinch. He prescribed PT for 4-6 weeks to see what that can do. Neck training or shoulder training I guess. After that he recommends if I'm still fucked I go to a (spinal specialist) who may do injections and if that doesn't work, surgery.

I've had a bunch of financial hits lately, I no longer live in the black, and suddenly chiro and PT copays, plus $400 for the MRI after insurance, and I'm losing thousands in a few months. Even at my income that hurts. I know others have it worse, but this glimpse still sucks.

I had surgery a little over a year ago so I could lift big weights for a long time. It seems that entire venture and expense may have been wasted. In fact everything I do, where my discipline helps me make measurable results, is stripped away. I did boxing, was borderline respectable, and my elbows gave out. I lifted, while I was not competition level, people would stare and say things in the gym. Now for the 2nd time that is taken away from me, possibly never to return.

And this is normal. I talked to a friend who just randomly lost vision in an eye. No prognosis or diagnosis - shit just happens. Wait, what? Since when did pieces of your body just fall off? What about science and medicine? Why isn't insurance paying for it? Rude fucking awakening.

Trying, trying to make positives. I can keep working out and really return to form. REALLY return to form, since it is all I have. I have been able to make my muscles sore even with lower weights, higher reps, and the support work is a larger part of my workout. Maybe if I can't do more I'll return to cardio and get my old washboard back (or get a real one that doesn't require being sick with a virus to take those sexah pictures).

House.
After 2 weeks it appears nothing is done. I have an email that is worth the paper it's printed on if the guy goes out of business and/or skips town. He could finish in 2 weeks, he could just take the financial hit on the money per week, but I'm scared and disappointed.

I might move in with Veronica - spending more time there, adding more things so I am able to go to work, gym, or play from there without so much planning. If I move in full-time I could work from "home" there, move things around in Arlington, and get the work done on the place for it to be rented out after I move out.

A piece of good news is the people who hit my car took responsibility, and Geico is saying they will cover the expenses of both the damage and a rental car 100%. I cancelled my claim with Travelers, though I can revive it if I have problems. Time will be lost, but other than that nothing else.

My computer stopped working which hurts - this laptop is past it's prime but functions. I now am the proud owner of a broken tv, slow laptop, broken computer, broken car, 2 broken homes...but I have steady income. I keep keep keep waiting to cash in on the rewards of all my hard work and sacrifice. Granted that may be hours of video game time while drinking - but ... even that keeps moving further away.

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:-(

I hear ya... vision and hearing problems are giving me the same feeling to say nothing of the "New for 2016! Embarrassing digestive issues!"

All you can do is work with what ya got, I suppose.

Oh those too, yeah. Luckily as a fairy princess who has bathroom fans in the near future, I am immune to all digestives problems. In unrelated news, sometimes I want to be alone.

Perhaps job-work is good in this regard, for you learn to adjust to things you can't control.

I busted my knee pretty badly this time last year and was walking with a cane for four months. I gained weight, lost muscle - it was awful.

Then I started Pilates in September, and by December I got into the best shape I've been in for years. A series of health events eroded my ability to work out from January through early March, but I was managing to keep my fitness level stable. Then I got very sick, which has kept me out of the gym and away from hiking entirely for a month. In one month I lost everything I gained since September.

Which is to say, I empathize hardcore with what you're going through.

Well you also example what to do (forgive my verbing of example, and verb).

Last night a dear friend noted she had a problem and stopped working out, and recover was ghastly. So I may suck, but working out different is multifold better than not - so yes! Keep somethinging.

I was in there today contemplating putting my brace back on so I would look like I had a reason to be weak.

Oof. Any of these things by themselves would be frustrating. All of them together sounds like...well, what you describe. When you get to PT, I hope they work with you on neck posture and strength, form, and possibly nerve gliding. Good luck.

Sorry you're having to deal with so many icky things at once. Or at all. *hugs*

I hate this getting old shit, too. It's not fair.

I would understand if it was time to pay the piper, having not worked out, but I'm all a'trin and stuff.

I worry to what degree I caused or accelerated my own condition through lifting. What if my technique wasn't as good as I thought it was? I haven't been back to the gym since the fusion.

I did read a bunch of studies that found arthritis was not made worse, or even better, by lifting weights. No joint damage occurred, but it also didn't fix anything...except symptoms. Strength helped work around the weakness in the joints themselves.

hang in there. and if veronica is willing, move in - that will allow you to rent the condo sooner. and if contractor does disappear you could put stuff in storage & rent condo while hoops to finish house are restarted.

my fingers are crossed for you on PT. you may need to stop or change weights, but find some way to work out... yoga, pilates, tai chi, running, cycling, whatever. i keep wanting access to a heated pool as that is the least painful exercise for me, but memberships are way out of my budget right now. i do stretch and walk as often as possible so i can keep dancing.

I've thought of that - the money to pay for storage, and move it back and forth, is painful...but less than 2 grand a month I suppose. Hmph.

I'm still doing the yoga stuff, even more, and working out - it's just different. I was actually encouraged to keep at it, as it's worse the less you do (less incentive for your body to recover, and breaking down and replacing muscle etc. leads to other general benefits as bad cells are replaced with regularity). Thanks - at least I can do it somewhat!

glad you're doing what you can!

some days it feels like i want to quit trying so hard, but then i remind myself that if i don't fight for me who will...

aging and pain suck though.

FWIW, if you're trying yoga, maybe try Down Dog studio? I go there from time to time (Georgetown or CLarendon). It's heated power yoga - almost like a blend of yoga and boot camp. It can be challenging, and gives me the same post-workout high I get from running or lifting heavy. So...if you're missing that high, and your shoulder will let you do it....

My shoulder sadly is very weak duty - I now sleep on one side only and can't lean to sit up / prop myself up very well on that side.

WHen I say yoga I mean the long stretching routine(s) I do prior to and post lifting.