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Apr. 23rd, 2016 10:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzA blurb before I go to not a real workout:
I got an MRI and went to the ortho, who disagreed that it showed symmetrical brain cancer, but noted I have the start of arthritis in my heck and this is normal for people my age. Another glimpse into not only am I going to die, but in a measurable time, and with predictable ranges of impediment and suffering. Then we get to the fact my alleged nerve pinch has stripped 1/3 to 2/3 of all my lifts except squat, and I may not recover, or if I do it may take months or years. He did find that besides some missing/decaying fluid around the spine, which he says is normal, I have a very restricted passage for nerves to the arms - which would explain the pinch. He prescribed PT for 4-6 weeks to see what that can do. Neck training or shoulder training I guess. After that he recommends if I'm still fucked I go to a (spinal specialist) who may do injections and if that doesn't work, surgery.
I've had a bunch of financial hits lately, I no longer live in the black, and suddenly chiro and PT copays, plus $400 for the MRI after insurance, and I'm losing thousands in a few months. Even at my income that hurts. I know others have it worse, but this glimpse still sucks.
I had surgery a little over a year ago so I could lift big weights for a long time. It seems that entire venture and expense may have been wasted. In fact everything I do, where my discipline helps me make measurable results, is stripped away. I did boxing, was borderline respectable, and my elbows gave out. I lifted, while I was not competition level, people would stare and say things in the gym. Now for the 2nd time that is taken away from me, possibly never to return.
And this is normal. I talked to a friend who just randomly lost vision in an eye. No prognosis or diagnosis - shit just happens. Wait, what? Since when did pieces of your body just fall off? What about science and medicine? Why isn't insurance paying for it? Rude fucking awakening.
Trying, trying to make positives. I can keep working out and really return to form. REALLY return to form, since it is all I have. I have been able to make my muscles sore even with lower weights, higher reps, and the support work is a larger part of my workout. Maybe if I can't do more I'll return to cardio and get my old washboard back (or get a real one that doesn't require being sick with a virus to take those sexah pictures).
House.
After 2 weeks it appears nothing is done. I have an email that is worth the paper it's printed on if the guy goes out of business and/or skips town. He could finish in 2 weeks, he could just take the financial hit on the money per week, but I'm scared and disappointed.
I might move in with Veronica - spending more time there, adding more things so I am able to go to work, gym, or play from there without so much planning. If I move in full-time I could work from "home" there, move things around in Arlington, and get the work done on the place for it to be rented out after I move out.
A piece of good news is the people who hit my car took responsibility, and Geico is saying they will cover the expenses of both the damage and a rental car 100%. I cancelled my claim with Travelers, though I can revive it if I have problems. Time will be lost, but other than that nothing else.
My computer stopped working which hurts - this laptop is past it's prime but functions. I now am the proud owner of a broken tv, slow laptop, broken computer, broken car, 2 broken homes...but I have steady income. I keep keep keep waiting to cash in on the rewards of all my hard work and sacrifice. Granted that may be hours of video game time while drinking - but ... even that keeps moving further away.
I got an MRI and went to the ortho, who disagreed that it showed symmetrical brain cancer, but noted I have the start of arthritis in my heck and this is normal for people my age. Another glimpse into not only am I going to die, but in a measurable time, and with predictable ranges of impediment and suffering. Then we get to the fact my alleged nerve pinch has stripped 1/3 to 2/3 of all my lifts except squat, and I may not recover, or if I do it may take months or years. He did find that besides some missing/decaying fluid around the spine, which he says is normal, I have a very restricted passage for nerves to the arms - which would explain the pinch. He prescribed PT for 4-6 weeks to see what that can do. Neck training or shoulder training I guess. After that he recommends if I'm still fucked I go to a (spinal specialist) who may do injections and if that doesn't work, surgery.
I've had a bunch of financial hits lately, I no longer live in the black, and suddenly chiro and PT copays, plus $400 for the MRI after insurance, and I'm losing thousands in a few months. Even at my income that hurts. I know others have it worse, but this glimpse still sucks.
I had surgery a little over a year ago so I could lift big weights for a long time. It seems that entire venture and expense may have been wasted. In fact everything I do, where my discipline helps me make measurable results, is stripped away. I did boxing, was borderline respectable, and my elbows gave out. I lifted, while I was not competition level, people would stare and say things in the gym. Now for the 2nd time that is taken away from me, possibly never to return.
And this is normal. I talked to a friend who just randomly lost vision in an eye. No prognosis or diagnosis - shit just happens. Wait, what? Since when did pieces of your body just fall off? What about science and medicine? Why isn't insurance paying for it? Rude fucking awakening.
Trying, trying to make positives. I can keep working out and really return to form. REALLY return to form, since it is all I have. I have been able to make my muscles sore even with lower weights, higher reps, and the support work is a larger part of my workout. Maybe if I can't do more I'll return to cardio and get my old washboard back (or get a real one that doesn't require being sick with a virus to take those sexah pictures).
House.
After 2 weeks it appears nothing is done. I have an email that is worth the paper it's printed on if the guy goes out of business and/or skips town. He could finish in 2 weeks, he could just take the financial hit on the money per week, but I'm scared and disappointed.
I might move in with Veronica - spending more time there, adding more things so I am able to go to work, gym, or play from there without so much planning. If I move in full-time I could work from "home" there, move things around in Arlington, and get the work done on the place for it to be rented out after I move out.
A piece of good news is the people who hit my car took responsibility, and Geico is saying they will cover the expenses of both the damage and a rental car 100%. I cancelled my claim with Travelers, though I can revive it if I have problems. Time will be lost, but other than that nothing else.
My computer stopped working which hurts - this laptop is past it's prime but functions. I now am the proud owner of a broken tv, slow laptop, broken computer, broken car, 2 broken homes...but I have steady income. I keep keep keep waiting to cash in on the rewards of all my hard work and sacrifice. Granted that may be hours of video game time while drinking - but ... even that keeps moving further away.
