i love this: "you don't have to dress sexy"... how is it that even the enlightened, smart men i know don't get it? whatever i wear, by dint of presenting as relatively female and reasonably thin is considered sexy.
the floor length nightgowns that are two or three sizes too big which are my daily wear in cool weather? sexy. the baggy shorts and t-shirts from college? sexy. a sack big enough for two of me would be sexy to a bunch of men because i must be hiding something under those clothes.
and think about how we judge women at work - professional wear means properly fitted skirt or pants suits, stockings and heels. and if you can't afford or refuse to wear those things you are considered less able, or disruptive or... oh, and those women's work clothes are more poorly made and more expensive over time than men's. so not only do we get paid less, we have to spend more to keep ourselves properly dressed for the work place. and if i chose to wear men's suits and had them tailored to fit, i'd be treated as gender non-conforming or trans* or however people want to other women today (not that gnc or trans* are bad, but they do add to the danger).
so just by being even remotely female we're open to harassment and worse 24x7. ffs, our female presidential candidates are constantly judged on their appearances in tons of ways the men aren't - a woman who had hair as bad as trump's or who clearly cared as little as sanders does about appearance wouldn't even be make it to the dance. also, what you consider to be sexy is never, ever what i've been wearing when i've actually been assaulted, so 'slutty' is not the problem, it's asshole entitled men.
we as a culture have so much work to do to treat people equally regardless of gender/sex. but i love that you are at least trying to understand.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2015-11-05 05:30 am (UTC)the floor length nightgowns that are two or three sizes too big which are my daily wear in cool weather? sexy. the baggy shorts and t-shirts from college? sexy. a sack big enough for two of me would be sexy to a bunch of men because i must be hiding something under those clothes.
and think about how we judge women at work - professional wear means properly fitted skirt or pants suits, stockings and heels. and if you can't afford or refuse to wear those things you are considered less able, or disruptive or... oh, and those women's work clothes are more poorly made and more expensive over time than men's. so not only do we get paid less, we have to spend more to keep ourselves properly dressed for the work place. and if i chose to wear men's suits and had them tailored to fit, i'd be treated as gender non-conforming or trans* or however people want to other women today (not that gnc or trans* are bad, but they do add to the danger).
so just by being even remotely female we're open to harassment and worse 24x7. ffs, our female presidential candidates are constantly judged on their appearances in tons of ways the men aren't - a woman who had hair as bad as trump's or who clearly cared as little as sanders does about appearance wouldn't even be make it to the dance. also, what you consider to be sexy is never, ever what i've been wearing when i've actually been assaulted, so 'slutty' is not the problem, it's asshole entitled men.
we as a culture have so much work to do to treat people equally regardless of gender/sex. but i love that you are at least trying to understand.