Before the recent debacle, it had been a while since I was the cheatee. Like going on ten years. And that relationship was so fraught with grey areas and lies and emotional abuse and dependency that I didn't really care that at some points the person I was with was also apparently seeing someone else. I considered it a coup that I knew about the other person at all, considering he tried to keep all of his lives and various girlfriends separate. I mean, the guy slept with a friend of mine in MY house, while I was in the other room!!
This most recent case I haven't processed yet. I am having trouble taking responsibility for being the mistress because I didn't realize that's what I was until the very end. Looking back, the proof is all there, proof that what we were doing was very much emotional infidelity. That particular situation has made me feel even more broken, relationship-wise. The fact I was so deluded. And loved someone who was so clearly unavailable.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-09-29 12:07 pm (UTC)This most recent case I haven't processed yet. I am having trouble taking responsibility for being the mistress because I didn't realize that's what I was until the very end. Looking back, the proof is all there, proof that what we were doing was very much emotional infidelity. That particular situation has made me feel even more broken, relationship-wise. The fact I was so deluded. And loved someone who was so clearly unavailable.